The Value of Old Fashioned Love Letters

Depending on how old you are, you just might remember what it was like getting a hand written love letter in the mail from your boyfriend, fiance or husband. Your grandparents and, possibly even your parents, will remember that feeling of the postman dropping off the mail and finding that special envelope addressed just to them. It’s really rather sad that technology has rendered the old fashioned hand written love letters extinct.

These days, with nearly every household owning a computer or at least a laptop, the need for hand written love letters is no longer necessary. You can just email your love and have it delivered instantly with a click of the mouse. For people that have never known things another way, this is pretty exciting. Teenagers and young adults may not even remember what it was like when the postal service was the only way to send and receive mail. They’re really missing out on something special, too.

Think about it for a minute. Nothing is more special than the man you love sitting down and taking the time to write out all of his thoughts and feelings in a letter to you. There’s so much excitement to open your mailbox and see that letter sitting in there waiting for you to retrieve it and open it. Once you’ve read it, you probably will read it over and over again. You can tuck it into your purse or backpack and take it with you to school or work. Throughout the day, you know it’s sitting close to you and when you take a break, it’s there for you to read once more.

Now, ask yourself, seriously, if emails get the same response. Sure, you’ll feel great when you get that email and it will bring about all sorts of warm and glowing feelings from you. However, if you want to carry it with you to read again, you’re going to have to go to the trouble of printing it out. Then, depending on who else has access to your computer, you’ll probably want to delete it so no one else will be reading these very personal words.

Something you can do to keep some of the old fashioned love in your relationship is to take the time to actually sit down and write a love letter.  Speak the words that are in your heart in the form of ink on paper. Then you can choose to either mail it or leave it in a special place to be found. These are perfect little surprises to include in a briefcase or suitcase when the one you love is going to be traveling for some reason. When he unpacks, he’ll find your thoughtful little surprise and think about you the entire time you’re apart. You can keep your letter romantic or spice it up a bit. The choice is yours.

The point of an old fashioned hand written love letter is that you took the time to sit down and write it. These can be cherished for years to come.

Is There Room in your Relationship for a Baby?

For centuries, it was customary for couples to marry and begin reproducing as soon as possible. In fact, many women were severely depressed if they were unable to conceive and men felt that they had been stuck with a “barren” woman, thereby rendering her defective in some way. Of course, it rarely occurred to most of these men that the fault may rest with THEM and not their wives. At any rate, that’s just how things were. My, how the times have changed.

These days, couples aren’t in quite as much of a hurry to start adding to their family as in days gone by. Most of the time, both partners usually have individual careers that they want to get off the ground.  Since the woman is the one that will need to give her up body and time to the pregnancy and birth, she usually is the one that will have more say so in when the actual reproduction process will begin.

Something else that has become a bit more common is couples that are so into each other that they may not have room in their relationship for a baby. This isn’t to say that they’re selfish or self-involved. It only means that they really love each other and have such a strong bond between them that it may be hard to fit in someone else into the relationship. These couples have planned their lives out for the most part. They like traveling together and they love participating in nightlife activities. Picking and going somewhere at the last minute is also something they love. The spontaneity and the freedom of being able to do things at the drop of a hat is something that doesn’t happen once you’ve become parents.

Admittedly, these freedom loving couples are looked upon as odd, but the truth is, these couples are the ones that know what they want in life and aren’t ashamed or afraid to admit it. Not all couples are meant to be parents. If you and your partner fall into this category, you should be proud and relieved to understand this about yourselves and the sort of lifestyle you want to lead. Couples that know what they want are the happiest in life.

If you and your partner have an active and spontaneous lifestyle that keeps you on the go and keeps you both happy, you may never want to include children of your own in your relationship. There’s nothing wrong with that, either. In fact, when you want your kiddie “fix,” you can always offer to babysit for nieces, nephews and god children. That’s a situation that gives you and your partner some time to enjoy the company of children and gives their parents a much needed break.

If you and your partner have chosen not to become parents, you should be aware that there will always be someone that will be judgmental and be sure that something’s “wrong” with you. Try to be patient with those people because they will most always have closed minds.

Help! My Boyfriend is Gay!

You’ve been dating the same guy for a year or more and he’s all you’ve ever wanted in a man. He’s amazingly handsome, sensitive to your needs, chooses the perfect gifts, and sex is usually more about you than him. Your friends tell you how jealous they are that you’ve got someone like this in your life. Life is beautiful and you look forward to a long and happy life with this man.

Suddenly, everything comes to a screeching halt. He sits you down and tells you that he has something to talk about with you. It’s easy to tell that it’s serious because he seems to be very nervous and on the verge of tears. You take his hands and tell him that there’s nothing that the two of you cannot get through together. Then he drops a bomb you were totally NOT expecting. It seems that he’s come to realize that he’s gay.

There will be many questions that you’ll have and you have the right to ask them.  If he’s as great as you think he is, he’ll do the right thing and answer all of them as honestly and kindly as he can. Next, there will be some decisions to be made, particularly around your relationship. This isn’t as simple as it would seem.

First of all, there’s the fact that he’s been dating you for so long that it’s highly possible that he’s bisexual with a heavy leaning toward men. If that’s the case, your relationship may not HAVE to end; that is if you’re willing to share him at least on occasion. On the other hand, he may now be telling you because he’s met someone that he wants to pursue a same sex relationship with.

There are so many things that you’re going to need to think through. The first one may be that you’re so in love with him that you think you’ll do anything to keep him with you even if it means that may have to share him sometimes with another man. In reality, this isn’t something that you may be able to handle.  Most people want a committed relationship with one partner and if this describes you, it bears some thinking about how you would feel being left alone while your partner was out on a date with a man.

Consider that he’s telling you because he’s made a decision of his own. He has decided that this isn’t a part of himself that he can ignore any longer and he’s going to act on it. If he asks for your forgiveness, friendship and support in coming out, try to keep in mind that this is a man you’ve loved for a while and probably still do love. The kindest thing to do for both of you is to let him go. It’s the only way that you’ll both be able to get on with your lives. Try not to hate him or resent him. When you’ve given yourself time to heal, he may be the best friend you’ve ever had or could ever have.

Special Doesn’t Have to Mean Expensive

So many people today neglect giving gifts for special occasions or just to saying “I love you” because they don’t feel they’ve got enough money to get something really nice. This is such an error in thinking.

Consider the current economy for a second. Unless they happen to be independently wealthy through family money or having a really good career, everyone else is most likely in the same financial boat as you, paddling very fast just to stay afloat. In other words, no one else has money to spend extravagantly, either.

You may wonder what it is you’re supposed to do when things come up in your relationship such as anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day and other holidays.  Some men have been known to pull a break up just before special days just so that they don’t have to worry about buying a gift. Once the day has safely passed, they start doing things to get back together with their ex until the next special day rolls around.  Sooner or later, the exes are going to get wise to this charade and simply get off of the roller coaster.

Don’t do this to your relationship. Have enough respect for your partner to be honest.  You may not have to talk about it at all. Instead, just do something imaginative on your own. There are many special ways of celebrating inexpensively.

• Arrange an indoor picnic: This can be lots of fun. You can choose to have hamburgers, hotdogs, pizza or any other affordable meal.  Spread out a tablecloth on the floor and add some candles for atmosphere. If the weather’s cold, a cozy fire in the fireplace is wonderful. Put on some favorite sexy music and toast with sodas.
• Pick various wildflowers for a bouquet: You can do this as an “I love you” or “I’m thinking of you” surprise. There are some wildflowers that are really quite lovely. You may also have access to privately grown roses, daffodils, irises and other flowers that you can cut and turn into a gorgeous bouquet.
• Make and serve breakfast in bed: This will mean so much on those mornings that you don’t have to get up at any certain time.  Even if all you can cook is toast, add a cup of coffee and a glass of juice and it’s still very much the thought that counts.
• Use your talents: It may be that you’re a phenomenal cook. If so, plan out a meal that you can afford and make it a fabulous night to remember. Maybe you’re a writer. Everyone enjoys love poems written especially for them. If you’re a musician, you’ve always got the perfect gift right there with you. Write a song just for your beloved.

As you can see, there are ways of getting around spending money that you don’t have and still do something special for the one you love. Take these ideas and add others of your own. Once your creative juices get flowing, there’s no end to the surprises that you can supply.

Don’t Let Desperation Get the Best of You

Surprisingly, even in this day and age of women becoming totally independent career women, there are still a large number of them that feel that they MUST have a man in their lives before they are complete. It’s this way of thinking that leads these same women into acts of desperation when it comes to getting men into their lives. Some of these desperate acts are things that would typically shock the same women that are committing them, but at the time, they only see that they must do something to make the necessary changes in their lives.

A lot of these women are professionals such as attorneys, doctors, financial consultants, stock brokers, designers, and any other variety of careers. Most of them are successful in their chosen fields, but they feel that they’re missing something vital by not being in a relationship. This can also lead them to start being aware of their biological clocks ticking. Maybe they had not considered it important to have children when they were first getting started in their careers, but now that their careers are flying high, they see that maybe they’ve missed something really important.

If you find yourself in this position, there are many things that you should not do, the first of these being that you should never give into these feelings of desperation. When you do that, you begin acting in bizarre ways. One thing that a lot of women in this position do is start consulting with psychics, Tarot readers, and astrologers. They want to hear that they’re going to meet that special man. They want to know what he looks like, how old he is, what sort of job he has, when and where they will meet, and how many children they’ll have together. This can become a weekly if not daily activity and can end up costing a lot of money.

Another direction that these women will take is a step back into the past. They start trying to track down old lovers and boyfriends. Suddenly, they just know they’ve missed their chance at happiness because they turned away their “soul mate” due to wanting a career. Now, these women do such things as finding out their current phone numbers and/or address and set about contacting them. Oddly enough, these same very intelligent women are amazed when the old lovers don’t even remember them and haven’t spent their every waking moment missing them.

Then there are the many different bars and clubs that are really just meet markets in disguise. Desperate women feel that they must frequent these places quite a lot so that they don’t miss the chance of meeting their Mr. Right. This is, perhaps, the saddest of all the methods.

If you find yourself in this situation, don’t give into the desperation. You’ve made a success of your life thus far and there’s no reason that you won’t go on being a success, with or without, a man. Stay away from those measures of desperation and make little changes to your life that make you more available and open to having a relationship as a part of your life.

10 Rules to Seduce Any Man

It may be puzzling as to how some women get great men to pay attention to them all the time, while other women have to fight really hard to get what they want. While it may seem as if those women have some sort of magic helping them out, they’re actually doing some things that ANY woman can do and be just as successful in landing men that aren’t afraid of commitment or opening up to the emotions involved in a relationship. Believe it or not, there’s no magic involved. Have a look at the following ways to get a great man for yourself:

Rule Number 1: Be yourself. This will always be the very first rule because if you’re not yourself, any man that you land by pretending to be someone else can never find out who you really are. He fell for the person he met and will expect you to continue to be that person.

Rule Number 2:  Be around. Get involved with local groups that the object of your affection is also a part of. That puts you in his vicinity that may make him notice you. This also shows that you like some of the same things that he does.

Rule Number 3: Be Sincere. Everything you do and say needs to be honest and genuine. Men can be more aware than you may think. They can see when you’re not being genuine and may deem you as untrustworthy.

Rule Number 4: Be Inspirational. If you can be happy and smiling a lot, you’re going to be able to attract lots of men. You’ll be amazed at how far a smile can take you.

Rule Number 5: Be Attractive. This doesn’t mean that you need to be made up fully 24/7. It does mean that you need to be clean and well groomed. Don’t go out wearing curlers or a face mask. Look nice or cute at least.

Rule Number 6: Be a Team Player. All this really means is that you need to be supportive. Join in things that you both like to do and find the things that you both have in common.

Rule Number 7: Be Inquisitive. Everyone always loves talking about themselves. So ask questions of the man you like. He’ll find you fascinating.

Rule Number 8: Be Mysterious. Let things happen as they are meant to. This includes the way you show different parts of yourself.

Rule Number 9: Be Confident.  Confidence is one of the sexiest qualities anyone can have. Believe in yourself and others will too.

Rule Number 10: Be Patient. Take things a little at a time. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. You can’t force anything so don’t even try.

When you carry out the above rules of seduction, you’ll be shocked at how successful you’ll be at seducing the man of your choice.  Don’t let anyone tell you that these won’t work. When applied carefully, they’ll go a long way in helping you land the man that you want.

Dating Safety Tips

When you talk to older people about “the good old days,” they’ll all tell you that things have really changed over the years when it comes to safety. Teens used to date by having a milk shake at the local ice cream shop, or going to a movie and having a hamburger before or after. No one worried so much about things such as date rape, kidnapping and murder because you happened to have agreed to go out with the wrong person. The biggest worries back then were not getting caught at the local Lover’s Lane or missing curfew.

These days, there are so many things to take into consideration when dating someone new. This becomes especially serious when you factor in that there is now online dating and simply carrying over an online connection into a real world meeting can have risks. There are now very real concerns when it comes to dating. This is particularly true with online dating. You should always remember that people can be whoever or whatever they want to be on the Internet. They don’t have to be truthful. The only thing they have to do is to convince someone they’re interested in that they are who they say they are.

Therefore, one of the first things you may want to do if you’re thinking about dating someone you’ve become acquainted with online is make sure that they’re who they say they are. This can be done several ways. One of them is to have them checked out through a private investigator. This is a rather reliable way of ensuring that someone isn’t trying to pull a fast one on you but it can also be rather costly. There are also online services that help you check out someone that are maybe less reliable but are more affordable and better than not checking at all.

Another method you may employ is chatting with them by webcam. In this way, you can at least see them and be able to see what they look like. If you’re good at reading people, seeing them face to face in this way may help you tell if they’re being truthful with you about who they are. Granted, this doesn’t ensure that you’re completely safe but at least you know a little more about who you’ve been chatting with.

If you do decide to meet face to face, always meet the person somewhere. Don’t be giving out directions to your home right away. This first meeting should take place in a very active location with plenty of people around.  You may also want to consider taking a friend with you the first time so that it’s clear that someone knows where you went and who you met there.

If this meeting goes well, and you feel as if you’re comfortable setting up another date, take some more precautions and make sure that your date knows you’re doing so. They may not be thrilled with your safety tactics but they should understand. If they get unreasonable about it, you have every reason to be suspicious and cut off all contact with them.

Basically, use your common sense as well as any intuition you may have, and you should be fine.

Opposites Really DO Attract

Several years, singer/dancer/choreographer and American Idol judge, Paula Abdul had a little hit song called “Opposites Attract.”  The whimsical video that was filmed for the song showed Paula as being in love with a cartoon animal, thus the theme of opposites being attracted to each other. It was all very cute and the song was very popular. However, there was a much deeper meaning rooted in this song and it carried a very real truth.

This truth is that people with opposite personality types can, and do, attract each other all the time. Not only that, but these relationships seem to be some of the most successful ones on record. What does this say about the theory that all couples should have many things in common?  Actually, it doesn’t  say anything at all about that. Rather, this shows that people of different personality types can complement each other by tempering the more radical parts of their partner’s personality as well as livening up the more sedate and even boring portions. That’s when it works the best.

Obviously, commonality is a huge factor when it comes to making a relationship work out successfully. When people have some things in common, they’ll always have something to talk about and do together. It gives them a chance to bond over something and that connection will always be there. However, there’s also the matter of a couple having TOO much in common with each other. That’s when opposites can make for a much livelier and more interesting relationship.

Couples with opposite personalities can many times enjoy much more active relationships with each other than if they had a lot of things in common. Sometimes it takes just the right amount of commonality and differences to make a relationship all it should be.

However, there can be some couples that really are so opposite that it’s amazing that they ever got together in the first place. Yet, you can tell just how happy they are in the way they look at and interact each other. They’re clearly perfect with each other.

That’s why you should never discount someone just because they don’t think exactly the way you do. They may actually provide the fodder for lively debates between you. Words can be some of the strongest and most effective foreplay that you’ll find anywhere, and when you’re forced into using them, you may find that this person who is nothing like you is one of the most exciting people you’ve ever met in your life. Let that feeling take hold and use the mental stimulation you get from arguing your point of view.

That can be just the beginning for you and your new friend. When you allow yourself to think outside of the box and let this new person into your life, it may be one of the most amazing events you’ve ever experienced. Enjoy your encounter with this opposite personality and see where it takes you. It’s very possible that this is the person meant to take you down the path you’ve always wanted to travel.

How Much Privacy Should Exist in Relationships?

There are many people these days that have been cheated on and betrayed in other ways by their partners. These are the partners that were supposed to love and support them. Yet, they turned out to be little more than sneaky, conniving, cheating and lying pieces of scum that really didn’t deserve what they had. Oddly enough, these same morally deficient individuals will step back and wonder exactly what happened.

If those relationships had been a bit more open, would there have been all of the sneaking around, lying and cheating going on? Maybe, because the ones that are really determined will usually find a way. On the other hand, it may not have turned out to be such a shock to the partner that was wrongly treated. They would have picked up on little hints and clues that their partner was trying to cheat on them.

People that have been mistreated in this way in relationships may find it hard to trust anyone again. For this reason, it may be a good idea to limit the amount of privacy in their next relationship. The idea behind this way of thinking is that you only need total privacy if you have something to hide. Granted, there are SOME things that everyone should have privacy for such as bathroom visits and other intimate things. However, why do you need to be hiding your email passwords from each other? Do you plan to be getting emails that you don’t want your partner to see?

Again, this doesn’t mean that you have to be peering over each other’s shoulders while reading emails. It simply means that there shouldn’t be any need for such strict privacy unless there’s something that you’re hiding from each other. The first thing that comes to mind is that one of you needs to hide online conversations with others.  At least that’s what partners that have been cheated on before may think.  This is one of the primary reasons that couples should be comfortable enough to be completely open with each other.

When you think about it, loving someone should make it unnecessary to keep too many things private from each other. The trust in a really good relationship should be of such a level that neither of you should be worried about what the other one is doing. A truly great relationship will not hold the need to keep passwords secret or other things. When you have a completely open relationship in this way, there will be no need to worry about secrets being kept on either side.

Of course, this type of relationship requires the utmost in trust, which is the sticky part of it all. Therefore, it can be rather difficult to know if you can have this type of relationship, especially when you’ve been betrayed in the past. So you’ll need to be quite careful. Of course, a certain amount of caution is needed in all relationships, especially at the beginning. So, hopefully, you’ll get to know each other to the point where you can have this type of trust. Privacy just isn’t always everything it’s cracked up to be.

Breaking Up Can Be Easy

Not all relationships are meant to last forever. Many, if not most, are simply stepping stones to the happily ever after relationship that you’ll enjoy at the right time in your life. Admittedly, a lot of break ups are messy and hurt a lot. However, they don’t always have to be that way. This is especially true if the couples involved can see that their relationship has most likely run its course.

Rather than force it and try to resuscitate a dying relationship, it’s usually better to part ways with as much respect for each other as possible. If you stay too long, it will only get worse and you’ll leave hating someone that your sun once set upon.

The first thing to do in a flagging relationship is to gauge just how bad things are and decide if there’s a chance to repair any damage that’s been done. If the answer is yes, then your next step is to begin what you need to do to get things back on track. Many times a relationship can just derail for some reason and there’s still hope that it can be put back together. You and your partner need to decide if that’s the case with your relationship.

The next thing you need to decide is whether or not you care enough to put the effort, energy and work needed to repair your relationship. Believe it or not, sometimes you just fall out of love with someone. It’s not something that either of you did. It’s just something that is. This is another of those cases where you don’t resuscitate it if it’s truly dead. Neither of you will get anything positive from this. Part as friends while you still can.

Sometimes the actions of a partner can lead you to the decision of ending the relationship. This can be many things:

• Some partners pack up and leave every time there’s an argument. Of course, they always come back but, seriously, who wants to go through that all the time?
• Others are abusive in different ways, whether it’s physical, mental, emotional or verbal. No one deserves to have to put up with that.
• Then there are the partners that just can’t seem to stop cheating. Obviously, then, you and your relationship aren’t very important to your partner.

Actually, any or all of these actions that are performed repeatedly can erode any feelings of love that you thought you had for this person. Believe it or not, their actions are helping you to make a hard decision that much easier.

Breakups can be easy once you realize that’s what needs to happen. In fact, that can sometimes be all that you need to find the words to say and the strength to walk away. Depending on the reasons for the breakup, it may even be possible to remain friends, or to become friends at some point in the future. Many times you have to follow your head rather than your heart because your head usually knows what you have to do. All you need to do is just listen to what it’s telling you.

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