5 Tips to Get Rid of Dating Phobia

The idea of dating can be scary, whether you are just starting out to date or are returning to the dating scene after a many years absence.

Maybe the following things cross your mind:

1.  I wouldn’t know where to start
2.  I’m too old, no one would want to go out with me
3.  I really don’t have time to deal with all the stresses and “games” of dating
4.  I’ve never been lucky dating.  I get all “tongue-tied” and don’t know what to say
5.  I’m a loner.  I’d rather stay home and read a good book
6.  Once burned, twice shy!  I don’t want to take the chance of getting dumped again

And the list goes on.  We are really good at rationalizing our reasons for not doing something we find a challenge.

Here are five tips to help you get past some of your phobias for not dating:

1. Take some time to give SERIOUS thought to any experiences you may have had in the past that make you afraid to take the risk of dating now.  Chances are you’ll realize that the situation then is not even remotely like the situation you are living in now.  You may have been extremely young and/or the person you approached might have been tactless and naive.  You might have been more emotionally vulnerable then so the impression the “rejection” left on you might have been stronger than it warranted.  Just let go of the feelings associated with any negative dating experience, and move on.
2. Start slow.  Go to “no risk” environments where you can interact with people in a non-threatening way. For example, attend a seminar on a topic of interest to you or that is relevant to your business.
3. Go to the types of places that you are comfortable in and where you would meet people that have the same interests and values as you do.  Don’t hang out at bars or nightclubs if that is not the type of person you want to date.
4. Go to night school and take a class in something that you are really passionate about. Not only will you meet men and women who have the same interests as you, you will have something to “talk” about.
5. If you are shy or still have a problem approaching someone who you are interested in or find attractive, consider getting counseling.  A good counselor can help you get to the root of your phobia so you can move on with your life.

Like any new and worthwhile experience in life, dating can be full of uncertainties.  There is no “magic formula” for always having a positive and successful encounter, but you shouldn’t let that stop you.  Keep trying.  Remember, “nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

Dumped? Tips for Surviving the Ultimate Relationship Fall

It happens. Relationships are fragile things that break for many different reasons. The main thing for you to remember is that if this one didn’t work out, it was for a reason – and that reason is probably that you were not meant to be together. It’s far better that you find that out now rather than somewhere down the road.

Whether it’s only been a short-term relationship, or one that’s lasted more years than you want to count right now, it’s still better that a relationship that’s no longer going anywhere ends and allows you to find someone else who will appreciate you more than your ex has.

Don’t look to place blame. Accept that the relationship has ended because it wasn’t going to work. It may hurt because you’re ex partner found someone else, or that they just don’t see any future with you, but the more time you invest in a relationship that’s not going anywhere, the more time you waste. Even if your ex partner has treated you badly, they’ve done you a favor because now you are free to find someone with whom you can have a future.

Objectively consider the reasons why the relationship didn’t work. If you think that you should have done things differently resolve to change this when you start a relationship with a new partner. Don’t make the same mistakes – even if your only mistake was to be too trusting!

Pamper yourself! Your heart and ego have been bruised in this relationship fall and so you need to administer some tender loving care on them. What raises your spirits? How about some beauty treatments or a makeover? Spend a weekend pursuing an extreme sport you’ve longed to try but didn’t have the opportunity because your ex partner wasn’t interested. Buy yourself something to cheer yourself up. Spend time doing things that you enjoy, especially any that you didn’t do while you were in the relationship with your now ex.

Don’t allow being dumped be an excuse to turn into a recluse. This ex partner didn’t want you. That means he wasn’t worthy of you. You did nothing that necessitates you hiding yourself away! Get out and socialize. Call up friends that you’ve lost contact with, go out and celebrate your new life as a single person! Being single isn’t a crime, it can even help you re-center your life and rediscover things about yourself that you’d forgotten whilst you were busy being half of a couple!

Take time before getting into another relationship. Even if you accept and let go all of the emotion tied up with the broken relationship, you still need to wait a little before getting into a new one. Don’t hook up with the first person who catches your eye. Rebound relationships can work but are usually destined for failure. Set yourself up for relationship success by giving yourself some breathing space as a single person again before putting yourself back into the dating arena.

Being dumped is a bad experience, and often you don’t have any influence over the situation, but what you can influence is your reaction to it. Your ex walked away from your life, don’t let him take that life with him – live it to the full yourself!