Dating Safety Tips

When you talk to older people about “the good old days,” they’ll all tell you that things have really changed over the years when it comes to safety. Teens used to date by having a milk shake at the local ice cream shop, or going to a movie and having a hamburger before or after. No one worried so much about things such as date rape, kidnapping and murder because you happened to have agreed to go out with the wrong person. The biggest worries back then were not getting caught at the local Lover’s Lane or missing curfew.

These days, there are so many things to take into consideration when dating someone new. This becomes especially serious when you factor in that there is now online dating and simply carrying over an online connection into a real world meeting can have risks. There are now very real concerns when it comes to dating. This is particularly true with online dating. You should always remember that people can be whoever or whatever they want to be on the Internet. They don’t have to be truthful. The only thing they have to do is to convince someone they’re interested in that they are who they say they are.

Therefore, one of the first things you may want to do if you’re thinking about dating someone you’ve become acquainted with online is make sure that they’re who they say they are. This can be done several ways. One of them is to have them checked out through a private investigator. This is a rather reliable way of ensuring that someone isn’t trying to pull a fast one on you but it can also be rather costly. There are also online services that help you check out someone that are maybe less reliable but are more affordable and better than not checking at all.

Another method you may employ is chatting with them by webcam. In this way, you can at least see them and be able to see what they look like. If you’re good at reading people, seeing them face to face in this way may help you tell if they’re being truthful with you about who they are. Granted, this doesn’t ensure that you’re completely safe but at least you know a little more about who you’ve been chatting with.

If you do decide to meet face to face, always meet the person somewhere. Don’t be giving out directions to your home right away. This first meeting should take place in a very active location with plenty of people around.  You may also want to consider taking a friend with you the first time so that it’s clear that someone knows where you went and who you met there.

If this meeting goes well, and you feel as if you’re comfortable setting up another date, take some more precautions and make sure that your date knows you’re doing so. They may not be thrilled with your safety tactics but they should understand. If they get unreasonable about it, you have every reason to be suspicious and cut off all contact with them.

Basically, use your common sense as well as any intuition you may have, and you should be fine.

How to Have a Successful Long Term Relationship

A lot of people go into a new dating relationship with the hope that it will become something wonderful and last long term. They may even want it to grow into a marriage where they will start their own family. If you’re someone that’s looking for a long term relationship, there are ways that you can turn this exciting new dating relationship into just that. You just have to know how to go about turning this new relationship into something deeper and more evolved.

First of all, don’t let the excitement and newness of your relationship wear off. You know how exciting everything is when you first start dating someone new. Everything sets off sparks at first: The first time your hands touch, or your first hug, and definitely that first kiss. While you’re most likely simply infatuated with each other during this time, it’s still a white-hot phase during the relationship.  You love being together all the time and you just can’t get enough of each other.

This can be so consuming that it may not be totally healthy and you certainly can’t keep the feeling going like this forever. You would both be like meteors heading toward earth and burning out on the way. However, this is the easy part of relationships. The work comes in when you want to make it last.

Although the first stage of dating is wonderful, the next level can be even better. This is when you know each other better and your connection has solidified into something that’s very meaningful. Now it’s time to see where the relationship will go. Ask each other important questions such as : Do you both want to get married? Do you both want to have kids? Can you agree on where to live? What things do you have in common? These are all the important questions that must be answered before the relationship should go any further. You certainly don’t want to wait until you’re married to find out that you don’t agree on any of those things.

When the questions have been asked and answered, it’s time to start talking about where you want things to go next. Obviously, it’s not a good idea to rush into things. Taking the time to really get to know each other is the best way to ensure that you’re on the right path. There’s a lot to be said for long engagements even when the first thing you may want to do is marry this person. If you’re meant for each other, don’t worry because you’ll still want to get married a year later.

The only thing you need to do once you have found your soul mate is to make sure that the excitement stays in the relationship. Always have time for each other no matter what else is going on in your life. It’s also a great idea to have some time together as an official couple before bringing children into the mix. They’re wonderful little bundles of joy but they can put a huge damper on the romance in your relationship. So go slow and know what the two of you want as a couple.

When Should You Go Away With Someone for the First Time?

Timing is important in relationships. You need to figure out when you should kiss for the first time, when to cook dinner for the two of you the first time, and, of course, when you should have sex for the first time. These are things that need to be assessed because doing them too fast can ruin a good thing before it even gets off the ground.

It can also be disastrous if you wait too long as well. This can cause doubt in the person that you’re dating as to how you really feel about them. Even though you may have done all of the other things, you may still need to decide when it’s a good time to go away with someone for the first time.

The reason that this is important even after you’ve already slept with someone is because while you may have spent the night with them, going away with someone is a bit different. You’ll be spending a full 2 or 3 days with this person. You’ll be going to bed with them at night and waking up with them in the morning. They are going to see you without makeup and with messy hair. You’re going to be with them when your morning breath is at its very worst. This is a very intimate time and you need to be sure the timing is right for it to happen.

First of all, before deciding if it’s the right time to go away with someone, think about what stage your relationship is at. How many dates have you been on? Have you at least kissed each other? What about sex? Have you had it yet? Is the connection forming and turning into something even deeper?

Obviously, if you’ve just started dating this person, you don’t want to rush things. If you have one date and then suggest a trip away, they are going to think that you’re easy or desperate or both. That’s not the impression you want to give someone that you think may be a promising relationship for you. They might go away with you immediately if they think you’re easy, but you most likely won’t hear from them ever again once you return.

Now, on the other hand, if you’ve been dating for a while, have gotten to know each other pretty well, and have already had sex, it may be time to take things to the next level. If you’re unsure about whether it’s the thing to do or not, talk to them about it and see what sort of reaction you get. Ask them what their thoughts are on the matter. It’s usually better if that first trip away together is a joint decision and not just something that you plan and expect them to go along with.

When you and your new partner have your very first romantic getaway, perfect planning and the perfect time will ensure that it will be a time to enjoy and remember for a long time to come.

Got Psoriasis? Dating Tips To Help You Cope

CNN published another great article today that touched on the subject of dating when you have the skin condition called psoriasis.  These same dating tips can also apply just as well to many other conditions or disabilities such as depression, eczema, herpes or other STDs, loss of mobility, etc.

The beauty of online dating sites is the fact that you can get to know a person for a bit BEFORE you meet them in person for the first time.  First impressions count heavily, and you can take advantage of flattering profile pictures, chat, and messaging features on online dating sites to put your best-self out there as a great first impression.

Once you meet in person, the bottom line is that you have to emphasize your positive traits and radiate confidence and positive energy.  Smiling, good posture, and a positive attitude can do a lot for one who is trying to date while dealing with a setback of some sort.  It may be difficult to do, but you must do your best to put forth this effort so you can greatly improve your dating possibilities.

Here is the original article:  Dating Tips: Don’t Let Psoriasis Keep You at Home

Dealing With Your Obsession with a Man

The symptoms of obsession are pretty clear to everyone other than the women that are suffering from this disorder. If you’re not sure, ask yourself these questions:

• Do you think about him constantly?
• Do you call him several times every day?
• Do you stalk his Facebook?
• Are you depressed when you feel that he’s avoiding you?
• When your phone rings and it’s not him, do you hate the person calling?

If you answered yes to these questions, you’re definitely obsessed with this guy. It also is very important that you correct this situation before it ruins your life.

The first thing you should know is that being obsessed is NOT normal. It doesn’t matter what anyone else says. Thinking about someone constantly to the point that you’re miserable, there’s a definite problem that has nothing to do with the man but everything to do with you.

It’s toxic to be obsessed for many reasons. You’re putting your entire life on hold when you’re obsessed. This has a huge negative impact on your life overall that you can’t see.

Feeling obsessed over someone usually starts when you know you can’t have this guy. It’s your mind that cannot accept that he’s never going to feel the same way for you that you do for him. This makes you feel bad. To get rid of this feeling, you start doing things that you believe will change the situation. Calling him constantly, stalking him, and spying on him will not do anything except push him even further away.

You should know that it’s not going to be easy to get past these awful feelings. It is hard work and you’re going to have to do it. The reason it’s hard is because you MUST stop doing all of these things because they’re just going to hurt you. Once these feelings start to fade, you’ll feel much better.

When you find yourself leaning towards doing some of those obsessive actions, try making a list of your thoughts. Put on your list things like:

• If I feel like stalking his Facebook, should I?
• How will I feel if I do it?
• If the answer is negative, ask yourself what else you can be doing right now to help yourself?

Then list some possible things that you can be doing like:

• Go for a walk
• Spend time on a hobby
• Work out
• Call a friend
• Play catch up with work
• Walk your dog
• Cook

You put down these ideas or anything else you can think of. Once the list is finished, you’ll have plenty to do to keep you occupied. Do this every time you’re tempted to act out obsessed behaviors.  If you do this for several days in a row, you should have more control of your obsession.

Keep in mind that you’ll still have obsessive thoughts during this time. This will be when you’ll need to decide what you really want to do: Feel better or give into the obsessive behavior that will only make you feel worse.  The only way out of your situation is to choose a positive path.

Does a Committed Relationship Make You Fat?

One thing that tends to keep men from committing to women on a more permanent level is the fear that these women will gain a lot of weight as time goes on. Is this a fair, or valid, concern? The answer to this question is not so cut and dried. In fact, you would probably have to say that this is one of those questions where the answer can be both yes and no.

Whether or not a woman gains a lot of weight once she’s married, engaged or living with someone in a committed relationship depends on many factors. These include:

• If the woman has weight issues that she constantly tries to fight, it’s possible that she will pack on the pounds once she gets a ring on her finger. That’s not always the case, but for women that have had to fight lifelong battles with weight, they may be tempted to relax once they get their man. It’s a relief to them to be able to eat things they actually enjoy without needing to be on a permanent diet.
• Some women are rather vain about their appearance. These women will probably always do everything in their power to stay sexy and attractive. Even if they get pregnant, usually by the time their 6 week checkup comes around, they’ll already be back to their previous pregnancy weight.
• There are many women that have watched their weight all their lives and simply feel that they can stop doing that once they get a man.  It’s not actually something they do on purpose. It’s more that they relax into the relationship and the fact that they’re with men who love them.
• Many women have issues with weight gain following a pregnancy. They just don’t seem to be able to get that weight off so they just keep gaining it with each subsequent pregnancy.

Obviously, if a woman really cares about the man she’s with, she will do her best to make sure that he likes what he sees when he looks at her. If a woman weighs 130 pounds when she is married and 5 years later she weighs 250 pounds, she has become way too comfortable and relaxed in her marriage. There are those rare men in life that truly love their women and it doesn’t matter if they balloon up to 500 pounds. They will still love them.

So you can see how this is a yes and no question. Any woman who truly loves her man is going to do her best to look appealing for him. She also will not want him to be ashamed to be seen in public with her. A woman who lets herself go following marriage is all but opening the door for her man to find someone more appealing.

While being in a committed relationship doesn’t MAKE you fat, it can definitely lower the motivation to stay in competing shape like you would if you were still dating and trying to land someone.

Are You Really in Love?

So many couples fancy themselves in love with each other when all it really comes down to is that they’re physically attracted to each other. There are too many of these couples that decide to walk down the aisle and make things legal when they really don’t even know each other at all.

If you think you’re ready to commit to one certain person forever after and you think you see lots of signs that you’re falling in love, ask yourself this very important question: Would you still love this person if something terrible happened and you could no longer make love? Your answer to this question will tell you a lot.

First of all, be brutally honest with your answer. Do you and your partner have enough things in common that you would still be able to maintain a meaningful relationship even without sex?

The actor Christopher Reeve comes to mind. He became a quadriplegic after being thrown from a horse in May of 1995, just 3 years after his marriage to singer and actress, Dana Morosini. They were very much in love and had a son together. When Christopher had his accident and the direness of his situation was explained to him, he thought he should just be left to die. Dana, however, told him that she would support him in whatever he wanted to do because it was his life. She just wanted him to know that she was in it for the long haul, that he was still him and she loved him. It was with her support that Christopher was able to lead an active life even though he was forever wheelchair bound until his death in late 2004.

Now, no one knows the more personal aspects of this couple’s life together. What is known is that they were dealt a blow that would have destroyed the majority of couples. However, what Christopher and Dana Reeve shared was a true love that withstood the worst of situations. Dana followed him in death not even two years later. How many couples would have been able to stay together through this and have their marriage still thrive? When there’s no real love, it can’t happen.

How much do you have in common with your intended partner? Do you enjoy talking about things? Do you both like the same movies, books, and music? When you must reach outside of a physical connection, is there still anything exciting between the two of you?  Your answers will give you a great deal of insight into what sort of relationship you have with this person you claim to love so much.

If you have enough things in common and it’s as if your souls are connected, it won’t matter if you could never have sex together. Your love would still be strong because your relationship is a true one based on real love, respect and liking for each other.
This is a hard kind of relationship to find. If you have it, don’t ever let it go because you may not find one like it again.

Is it Wrong to Hook up with your Best friends Ex?

Many couples today aren’t exactly solid when they get together. In fact, more of them break up than stay together. The interesting phenomenon that seems to be forming from all of this breaking up is the pairing of best friends and their exes.

The most recent of these to be in the public eye is that of singer Shania Twain. Her very best friend was having an affair with Shania’s husband while she was still friends with Shania. When it all came out, eventually Shania ended up married to her ex-best friend’s former husband. He and Shania basically consoled each other right into a full blown relationship. Shania went through a bad time but came out on the other side a whole new woman. Incidentally, she and her former friend are no longer keeping company at all.

That’s a bit of an extreme situation even in Celebrity Land, but it’s much more common than people think that exes and best friends hook up. The question is whether or not this is the best idea. Granted, each situation is unique so obviously you can’t say that there’s a right or wrong answer to this question across the board. However, as a general rule it’s a bad idea to do hook up with your best friend’s ex.

Think of it in terms of privacy, first of all. Once your best friend has been dating and probably having sex with someone, you probably know all sorts of personal things about this person since best friends tend to talk to each other about most things. There’s a bit of an “ick factor” to that and it may, or may not bother you. But it’s still something to think about. Do you really want to be where your friend has been?

Then there are the inevitable comparisons between you and your friend that the ex can’t help but draw. You may even experience that unhappy situation when the ex calls you by your friend’s name at a very inopportune moment. Nothing is going to make THAT any better.

Another consideration is what sort of terms did your friend and the ex part on? Did they part as friends or was it an ugly battle? This is something that you have to think about seriously because if you decide to hook up with the ex, it may cause a massive rift between you and your friend. That’s when you’ll need to figure out just how much the friendship means to you. If it means that you’re going to lose a good friend if you take on the ex, will it be worth it?  That’s what you really need decide before going any further with a possible relationship.

On the other hand, if your friend tells you that it’s perfectly ok for you to form a connection with the ex, and you’re POSITIVE it really IS ok, there’s no reason for you not to go ahead with things. If you don’t, you may always have that “what if” question floating around in your head.

Loving Someone You Can Never Have

There’s nothing quite as painful as unrequited love. Just ask anyone that’s ever been in love with someone they knew they could never have. This is a situation that can happen to both men and women, and there’s no less pain involved for one than the other. If you’re in this situation, you’ll find that you recognize all of the signs and symptoms.

The person that’s captured your heart is all you seem to think about on a daily basis. You’re not even really interested in dating anyone else because, as far as you’re concerned, you’ve found the one you love and that’s not going to change. You may have even settled down into a rather complacent state where your pain is kept to a numb state. This means that you’re not sitting around crying or moping but you do daydream about this person all the time and fantasize about how, one day, the two of you will be together.

Most likely, you have all sorts of scenarios worked out where he or she suddenly realizes that you’re the one. It’s all probably very romantic with symphonic music swelling in the background.

You may feel that it is fine for you to live in this dream world but it’s actually not fine at all. In fact, you must do everything you can to let go of this fantasy and get on with having a real life. It is time to get this situation under control so that you can find someone that’s meant to be with you. This is the only way you will experience true happiness.

First of all, stop thinking about this person. Simply refuse to let him or her enter your thoughts. When you find yourself slipping and thinking of this person, FORCE yourself to think of something else. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on the fantasy. This is the first step in accepting that you will never be with this person for whatever reason.

He or she may be in a committed relationship with someone else or even married. The fantasy person may even be someone that you knew years ago and never moved past. Get a grip and come back to reality.

If you can clear your environment of everything that reminds you of your dream lover, that will help even more. Don’t listen to music that carries you in the direction of more day dreams and fantasies. This is going to require a lot of self-discipline.

If you feel that you’re not strong enough to handle it on your own, enlist the aid of a good friend to keep you grounded. It is almost like having an AA or NA sponsor. You call this person whenever you‘re having a weak moment and they talk you through it.

Do your best to be realistic. Seriously, if you’ve been carrying a torch for this person for, say 10 years, it’s TIME to take back control of your life and face the fact that you’re just never going to have this person. Let go and allow your heart to be free to love the right person for you.

Is He Really Who He Says He Is?

With so many couples meeting in clubs, bars and on the Internet these days, getting to know the real person you’re interested in can become a bit tricky. Most of the time, those guys you meet in bars are all cleaned up for that one night because they’re hoping to get lucky. It’s not like they ever plan to see you again after the one night stand they think they’re having with you. They can tell you anything they want and pretend it’s true.

The same thing goes for the Internet. This is even worse in many aspects because you can’t even see the person you’re talking with at first. All you have to go on is what he’s telling you about himself. Of course, there are some things that you’ll know right off make no sense. If he tells you he’s a ruler of a small, unheard of kingdom, chances are he’s lying. You’ll also find a lot of rich guys that are doubles for Brad Pitt, George Clooney, or whoever you fancy currently. When they say that, they usually don’t plan to ever meet you face to face. All they’re after is a bit of cybersex and then they’ll vanish into cyberspace.

Keep in mind that unless you’re chatting with a guy on a webcam, he could be 60 years old, 5’5”, 300 pounds, bald and married. When he tells you that he’s 6’3”, 190 pounds, 35 years old, shoulder length hair and single, that’s HIS fantasy of what he wishes he was. So, if you’re not seeing this vision in front of you via a webcam, or from across a dinner table in a restaurant, reserve your thoughts.

Now, you still can’t relax even though you may behold the most beautiful man in existence when you lay eyes on him. Yes, he may be all he said in the physical sense but you’ve still got to unearth more layers of his true personality. Even beautiful men can have some very serious character flaws. Think Kenneth Bianchi and Ted Bundy. Many women found these men to be very attractive only to be realize too late that they were about to become the latest victims of The Hillside Strangler or one of the most infamous serial killers to this day.

Before you agree to meet a new guy in person, spend lots of time chatting with him. Talk on the phone, too. Get to know him from the inside out before agreeing to meet with him face to face. Even then, don’t invite him to your home and don’t go to his for the first meeting. Make it in a very public place and take some friends along. Introduce him around to them so that he understands that people you know have his name and description. This is your safety net. Be sure to also do some checking into whether or not he’s married or in a relationship with someone. That’s easier to do than you think:  Click here to search marriage and divorce records online

Only when you’re quite sure that he’s a straight shooter and that you’re safe is when you agree to meet him. He may just turn out to be your Prince Charming.

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