Dating and Hygiene

For most people, how to have proper hygiene is something they learned in health class when they were in school. They had to take tests on the subject and everything in order to pass that class. Since they had to study this topic, one would think that some of it should have stuck.

It would also seem that taking good care of your body and being clean is common sense. However, there is an amazing number of people that simply don’t find it necessary to engage in good hygiene. Whether they’re too lazy or just don’t care, it’s still a sad state of affairs when an adult just refuses to be clean.

While that’s definitely hard to understand, there’s an even odder phenomenon that seems to go along with that. These individuals that refuse to do even the basics of cleaning themselves up also find it very difficult to understand why they can’t get anyone to go out with them. That’s rather amusing as well as amazing because you would think that, at some point, they would catch onto what the problem is.

Now, just to make it easy to know what needs to be done in order to have good hygiene, following is a check list so that there will be no excuses for being dirty and smelling bad:

• Bathe regularly. Even when you think you’re not dirty, if you’re planning to go out with someone special or you’re just going out on the hunt, bathe anyway. This includes shampooing your hair. Oily hair is just not attractive.
• Use deodorant daily. Don’t assume that you’re not reeking of body odor. Seriously, just don’t take the chance.
• Brush your teeth, and gargle with mouthwash if you have any on hand. Fresh breath is a huge part of good hygiene. No one wants to kiss someone that’s too busy or lazy to brush their teeth. Smelling of onions isn’t a turn on for most people either.
• Wear clean clothes. When you’re sitting around your home by yourself, you can wear any smelly old clothes you want.  However, if you’re going out on a date with someone that you really want to impress, always wear something that looks decent and is freshly laundered.

Now, those are the basics. Add to that other things such as dressing appropriately for the locale that you’ll be going with your date. A black tie restaurant shouldn’t have you sporting jeans and a t-shirt. On the other hand, that exact outfit may work out just fine if you’re going to see a movie or playing a round of miniature golf. You need to use your best judgment and common sense with things such as that.

If you feel that you’re not such an unattractive person, yet you keep having trouble landing dates, look very closely at the above list and make doubly sure that you’ve done everything on the list. As long as you pay attention to being clean and smelling good, everything else should simply fall right into place.

Competing with a Deceased Partner

With people living longer these days, chances are that members of the older population will find themselves dating widows or widowers at some point. This can be either a lovely and happy coupling or it can be a very sticky situation. It totally depends on whether or not the living partner has made peace with the passing of their partner and is ready to move on in life. Unfortunately, that’s not usually something you’ll find out until you actually go out with this person.  Even worse, it may not even become evident until you’ve enjoyed several dates that you’re competing with a deceased partner.

Basically, there’s usually not a way to successfully compete with a partner that has passed on. One of the main reasons for this is that once a loved one has died, he or she becomes a saint in the eyes of the partner that was left behind. Friends and family members are often stunned at the transformation of a deceased partner. This person could have been the meanest tempered, most abusive individual that ever walked the earth, but once they’re gone, their surviving partner remembers them as sweet tempered people that never did any wrong in their lives. If you’re dating someone that has selective memory, you’re in trouble right out of the gate. Nothing you do is ever going to measure up to the deceased saint.

Now, if you’re about to start dating a widow or widower, there are some clues that will help you early on before you waste too much time with this person.  The time that has passed since the partner died will mean a lot in whether the surviving partner is ready to start dating. For some people, six months is plenty of mourning time. For others, ten years may not be enough. So be sure to find out in some discreet way how long the deceased has been gone.

Something else that can be very telling is the interior of the widow or widower’s home.  If you walk in and find a very prominently placed shrine to the deceased partner, you’ll probably want to keep your contact to just the one date.  When there are still tons of pictures sitting around of the good old days, there’s a good chance that the living partner is still dwelling in the past.

If every other sentence from your date begins with “When my Harold was alive” or “Anna always did this or that,” you should probably be prepared for this to be a short term friendship.  This is not the attitude of someone who is ready to move forward in life. You’re not being uncaring or rude if you decide not to wait around, either. You’re simply being realistic.

On the other hand, if you hook up with someone that misses their deceased partner, but speaks in the present and the future of what they would like in their life, you just may have captured a jewel. It’s definitely worth a shot as both of you could have a great chance at a happy future together.

Commitment-Phobic Men

So many men these days tend to have serious commitment issues. These men have no issues with dating one woman for a while. They may even take over a drawer in your dresser and leave a toothbrush and razor in your bathroom. Then, one day, you decide that it may be a great idea if he just moves in with you, but when you bring it up, his response is that he feels that maybe the two of you are moving too quickly. He feels that you two need to take a break and see other people for a while.

This can mean a couple of different things. He may have already met someone else that he’s interested in dating and was just waiting for a time to tell you. However, when you brought up the moving in thing, it gave him the perfect opportunity to put the brakes on things with you and move on to the next one.

Something else it can mean is that he’s horribly commitment shy and he sees moving in together as a commitment of sorts. He probably feels that while it’s not marriage, it may be a stepping stone to that much more serious commitment. In this case, there’s nothing you could have done that was going to make this connection turn into a true relationship. You’ve hit on one of his true fears or phobias just by inviting him to move in with you.

Chances are, with either of these scenarios, you’ll most likely never hear from him or see him again. He’s going to get as far away from you as possible because you’ve made it clear in a subtle way that you expect something from him that he’s not prepared to give. He’s certainly not ready now, with you, and he may never be ready to make a serious commitment in his entire life.

There are many men that don’t ever plan on getting married and they’re happy to be lifelong bachelors. Single women would do well to steer clear of them because no matter what they may think, they’ll most likely not be playing Annette Benning to their Warren Beatty. The best thing that you can do when you first meet a man that you find fascinating is to subtly find out what his views are on marriage and commitment. If you’re the marrying type and he’s not, you’ll want to move on quickly and not invest any time or emotion into this man. He’s only going to break your heart.

On the other hand, if you’re a bit commitment phobic yourself, these are the perfect men for you to get involved with. You’ll both have lots of fun and probably amazing sex, and then you’ll move on when the novelty wears off.  Only you can decide whether you must have a solid commitment from someone or not, but hopefully, this is a decision you make before you start dating him. In that way, you can both avoid a lot of hurt and guilt feelings.

Are You Threesome Material?

The majority of relationships have usually always been between two partners. Whether this was a man and a woman, two men, or two women, it’s still a relationship consisting of a pair. Something that’s been emerging more and more over the last several years is that of triad relationships. The simple definition of a triad is commonly a couple dating the same third person.  In many instances, the third person moves in with the couple and they all live together.

A triad is becoming a more popular alternative lifestyle for bisexual people. These triads can consist of two men and a woman or two women and a man. In some cases of gay partners, it can be made up of three men or three women.  It totally depends on the type of arrangement that works best for you.

Celebrities have apparently been into these types of relationships for quite a while. Former adult movie actress, Nina Hartley, and her husband make a third woman a part of their relationship on a regular basis. Nina is admittedly bisexual and this is an arrangement that has worked quite well for this couple over the years. When they bring someone into their marriage as a third party, they also bring that woman into their home to live with them for as long as the arrangement lasts. In this case, a triad is very successful.

Threesomes have been around for centuries, but the triad is a bit newer and more inclusive than just as a one night fling. This is an arrangement where everyone lives together, sleeps together, and basically IS together. They go out to dinner together, see movies together, and attend parties and other social gatherings all as a triad. They don’t hide their lifestyle, either. People involved in triad simply don’t look at what they do as anything really out of the ordinary because, for them, it IS normal.

For the many women these days that are having trouble with finding the right relationship, a triad could be another option that would have them involved in a meaningful relationship in a much shorter time. Of course, if you’re not bisexual, it’s probably not something you would be interested in unless you have the chance to become involved in a triad with two men. It depends on just how open minded you are. If you’re more of a traditionalist, a triad is probably not going to work for you. However, if you’re open to trying new things, it’s certainly something that you may want to consider.

A triad is a non-traditional relationship that’s truly not for everyone, but you may surprise yourself. Most of the time, it’s all a matter of the people involved in these sorts of relationships. You may consider all sorts of alternative options just by meeting the right people that will push all of your good buttons. If not, there’s certainly nothing wrong with wanting to be a traditionalist and be in a relationship with one partner.

Are You Dating for Sex?

When it comes to dating, there are many reasons that people do it. For the most part, dating is an activity that takes place for companionship and as a stepping stone to a romantic relationship. These are the best reasons for dating and they typically work to bring two people together in a committed relationship. There’s another reason that some people go on dates, and it’s not the best one to use.

This reason is simply to have sex with someone. In this day and age of massive sexual freedom along with the numerous sexually transmitted diseases that are out there, dating just to have sex is most likely one of the worst ideas imaginable. There are also many other avenues to take if you just want a sexual encounter. Casual sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It provides a temporary physical release but can be quite emotionally and mentally unfulfilling.

For centuries, men have sought out women to pay for sex. This was never questioned even back when the French courtesans were all the rage. Prostitution has been around in one form or another always but it’s never been completely sanctioned. When women go about visiting one club after another trying to meet someone to have sex with, they’re essentially behaving like prostitutes, except they’re not paid for their favors.

If you’re using the dating game just so you can have sex, you may want to examine your true motives for conducting your life in this way. Are you fearful of committing to just one person? Have you had so many bad relationships that you simply don’t want the hassle of dealing with another one? Could you possibly be addicted to variety sex and you cannot maintain a sexual relationship with only one person? Only you can answer the questions, but you may not be able to be honest with your answers.

Suffice it to say that if you’re using dating simply as a means to have sex, something needs to be thoroughly investigated. Most women don’t have sex on the first date even though sexual values have become quite a bit looser than in years past. If you’re taking that a step further by dating only to have sex and then casting away the man you dated, there’s really a need for you to speak with someone you trust about this behavior.

It’s not only demeaning to yourself, but it’s literally dangerous to your life due to the many STDs that abound. Keep in mind that such things as HIV and herpes aren’t curable.  In fact, HIV can kill you if it turns into full blown AIDS. Is your life worth a quick roll in bed? This is very self-destructive behavior and can be deadly if you decide not to seek some help and understanding for why you behave in this way.

It’s important that you’re as careful as you can be while continuing to date for sex. That’s the least you can do to protect yourself from the negative consequences of your actions.

Signs that Your Guy is One to Keep

There are plenty of signs that let you know the guy you’re dating or are in a relationship with is Mr. Wrong. In fact, you may focus too much on trying to spot those signs that you totally miss the ones that let you know your guy’s a keeper. To make it easier to see those signs, check out the following:

• He puts you first: A man that’s truly committed to you and your relationship will make you a top priority in his life. He continues to show you that he loves you and is devoted to you and the relationship.
• He’s there for you when you need him: When you get in a tough spot, a man that really loves you will be there supporting you. He’ll be there to hold your hand or hold you up.
• He likes your quirkiness: The man you want to keep will love you because he treasures your abilities and overlooks your flaws. In fact, he may even love your flaws.
• He always shows you just how much he cares: The most important part of relationships is how your man treats you. He doesn’t have to send you dozens of red roses all the time. It’s more the little things like taking your car to fill it with gas for you or emailing you to wish you luck on something at work.
• He’s kind: You’ve probably always heard that actions speak louder than words, and this applies to how you’re treated in relationships, too.  If he’s respectful to his parents, polite to food servers and gentle with animals, then he’s an all-around nice guy. The best part is when he’s kind even though he thinks no one is looking.
• He’s reliable: You know you can depend on him and take him at his word. These kinds of men are pretty hard to find these days.
• He wants to marry you, too: There’s a huge problem when only one of you wants to get married. If he wants a life and family with you, you’ve got a keeper for sure.
• He can deal with your emotions: Women are just more emotional than men, for the most part. A man you want to keep will know how to deal with yours and will never call you “crazy” or tell you that you act “just like your (or his) mother.”
• He fights maturely: The way a man deals with any conflict thrown his way shows a lot about his character. A man you want to keep expresses his feelings, asks for things he wants and can handle constructive criticism without throwing a tantrum. He’s also a good listener.
• He’s a mature grown-up: There should actually be a drum roll and fireworks around this one. For whatever reason, too many men in the world today are just immature. They stalled out somewhere along the way from childhood to adulthood and are still stuck. If you’re with a man that’s competent and responsible, be sure to hang on tight to him. He may be the only one of these you meet in life.

If your man has even SOME of these qualities, you’re probably doing pretty well. Just choose the ones that are most important to you and don’t except anything less.

Help! My Boyfriend is Gay!

You’ve been dating the same guy for a year or more and he’s all you’ve ever wanted in a man. He’s amazingly handsome, sensitive to your needs, chooses the perfect gifts, and sex is usually more about you than him. Your friends tell you how jealous they are that you’ve got someone like this in your life. Life is beautiful and you look forward to a long and happy life with this man.

Suddenly, everything comes to a screeching halt. He sits you down and tells you that he has something to talk about with you. It’s easy to tell that it’s serious because he seems to be very nervous and on the verge of tears. You take his hands and tell him that there’s nothing that the two of you cannot get through together. Then he drops a bomb you were totally NOT expecting. It seems that he’s come to realize that he’s gay.

There will be many questions that you’ll have and you have the right to ask them.  If he’s as great as you think he is, he’ll do the right thing and answer all of them as honestly and kindly as he can. Next, there will be some decisions to be made, particularly around your relationship. This isn’t as simple as it would seem.

First of all, there’s the fact that he’s been dating you for so long that it’s highly possible that he’s bisexual with a heavy leaning toward men. If that’s the case, your relationship may not HAVE to end; that is if you’re willing to share him at least on occasion. On the other hand, he may now be telling you because he’s met someone that he wants to pursue a same sex relationship with.

There are so many things that you’re going to need to think through. The first one may be that you’re so in love with him that you think you’ll do anything to keep him with you even if it means that may have to share him sometimes with another man. In reality, this isn’t something that you may be able to handle.  Most people want a committed relationship with one partner and if this describes you, it bears some thinking about how you would feel being left alone while your partner was out on a date with a man.

Consider that he’s telling you because he’s made a decision of his own. He has decided that this isn’t a part of himself that he can ignore any longer and he’s going to act on it. If he asks for your forgiveness, friendship and support in coming out, try to keep in mind that this is a man you’ve loved for a while and probably still do love. The kindest thing to do for both of you is to let him go. It’s the only way that you’ll both be able to get on with your lives. Try not to hate him or resent him. When you’ve given yourself time to heal, he may be the best friend you’ve ever had or could ever have.

Dating and the Single Parent

The world today is vastly different than it was in the 1950s. During that era, people rarely got divorced because it just wasn’t the thing to do. Couples stayed together whether they were happy or not. In the typical family, the husband went to work every day while the wife stayed at home and ran the house and looked after the children. This isn’t the typical family today.

A family today can consist of a father, mother and children, two mothers and children, two fathers and children, a mother and children, a father and children, or blended families that include step-parents and step-children. It’s the single parents that have the most interesting issues when it comes to dating. There are so many things they need to consider because there ARE children involved.

To begin with, if you have young children, you’ll need to be selective about whom you start going out with. Until you’re certain that this relationship may be going somewhere, it’s probably best not to have your children meet your new partner. If you’re dating a very nice person with domestic instincts, chances are your children will become attached to that person. If things don’t work out, you and your ex won’t be the only ones that will be hurt by a break up. Therefore, it’s usually best to keep your dating away from the kids at first.

In addition, as a single parent, you’ll need to make sure that the person you’re dating is safe. The last thing you want to do is bring home a child molester or other criminal and have that person around your children. Of course, hopefully you wouldn’t knowingly be dating someone like that.

However, when you do meet someone that you really connect with and the relationship seems to be moving in a really good direction, there will come a time when you’ll probably want to have sex with that person. Sexuality isn’t quite as guarded as it was in years past. It’s actually rather open these days, but that doesn’t mean you want your young and impressionable child walking in on you having sex with someone. So you’ll need to be very careful with that.

Depending on the age of your child or children, you may be able to have sex at your home.  A baby or toddler probably isn’t going to even realize what’s going on if you have someone spend the night. An older child, on the other hand, will certainly realize that SOMETHING is going on whether they know exactly WHAT it is or not. Teenage kids are going to be impossible to hide your behavior from no matter where you’re having sex.

The best idea when you have older kids is to stay overnight at home of the partner that doesn’t have children living there. If that’s not the case for either of you, then another option is to head out of town to a hotel. When you’re gone overnight, your teenagers will most likely know what you’ve been up to, but at least it won’t be flaunted right in their home.

If you become very close to someone, that’s the time to introduce them to your children. In that case, it’s not as likely that this person will be leaving their lives any time soon. In fact, they may even become a permanent part.

Dating sites for single parents are a great way to meet others who share your concerns and values when it comes to dating.  Check out Single Moms and Dads and start meeting compatible singles today!

So, You Want to Date a Millionaire?

In this era of difficult economic times, it is easy to daydream about dating and marrying a millionaire.  There is no current shortage of women who are looking for a “sugar daddy”, “seeking arrangements” or men who are looking for a “sugar momma” (i.e. rich women looking for men).  It all seems so easy – land the right wealthy single man or woman and your financial troubles are gone.  Do you have what it takes to make this dream a reality?

Most single wealthy men are highly sought after and women throw themselves at them all of the time.  This may even happen after the man is married!  You will have to be secure with yourself and your relationship in order to endure this ordeal.  Another consequence of this situation is that because these men receive so much attention from female admirers, they tend to seek out the most highly attractive women for dating.  This may not seem fair, but that’s the unfortunate reality.  When there are so many women competing for his attention, it’s easy for him to be drawn in by the most attractive women of the bunch.

If you do eventually become quite serious with your wealthy boyfriend or girlfriend, you will probably need to play a role of some sort in order to support his or her status.  Many rich men take pride in having a “trophy wife” and you will have to work hard to ensure that you keep this status.  You will most likely accompany your spouse to country clubs, professional, or business functions and you will have to always look your best and use proper etiquette in order to maintain an image of class.  You will be counted on to support your wealthy spouse in this way.

Lifestyle issues are another thing to give serious consideration to.  Your rich husband may be wealthy because he works many long hours, and this is not likely to stop once he marries you.  In order to maintain his wealthy status, he will need to continue to work these long hours.  It will be up to you to maintain the family home life on your own and to find a way to cope while he is always away at work or on business trips.

If after thinking seriously about all of the issues involved with being married to a millionaire and you still think you have what it takes, then what’s stopping you? Millionaire Match.com is the largest and most popular site for meeting wealthy singles.  Many of the members are “certified” millionaires – this means that they must submit proof of assets or income in order to obtain this special certified status.  This is done in order to maintain the integrity of the site as a millionaire dating site so that unethical imposters can’t just merely “claim” to be millionaires in order to meet attractive singles.  They have to prove they are the real deal.  Join Millionaire Match.com free today and meet a millionaire today!

Is Dating Married Women A Good Idea?

By some estimates, as many as 15% of married women will have an affair at some point during their marriage. That works out to approximately 4.5 million women in the United States alone. What this means is that there is a real possibility that you will have a chance of dating married women at one time or another. Here are some things to think about before you decide whether or not to do it.

One of the things men seem to like about dating married women is the physical passion that is often present. Perhaps the woman isn’t being satisfied, and has now turned to you to fulfill her needs. This may be great for a few nights of lustful passion, but there won’t be any real emotional attachment. Some guys love the idea of all of the romance without any of the feelings, but what they don’t realize is that the physical aspect is so much better when true feelings are being shared.

“We’re getting a divorce.” I have a friend who has dated a married woman for more than ten years now, and she is still telling him that she and her husband are on the verge of getting a divorce. The papers have been filed, not filed, misplaced, refiled, almost finalized, retracted, but they are still married. What’s going on? People often feel it’s immoral to date somebody who’s married, but if they are “going through a divorce”, then they can justify it by saying the woman isn’t “really” married.

This isn’t meant to scare you, but you should know that a lot of murders are the result of “love triangles”. These crimes of passion happen quickly; often without warning. What happens is you think things are going fine, that her husband doesn’t know anything, but then the wife confesses what she has done, or the husband finds out in some other way. In reality, they should only be mad at the person who has done them wrong, but the anger and jealously can quickly bubble over and get out of control. Now, that’s not to suggest that dating married women will make you the victim of a murder, but you should know that it is a risk; no matter how remote.

There is another thing to consider before dating married women, and that is your motivation. What is it that attracts you to married women? Is it a feeling of control, or a lack of control? Does it make you feel better than her husband in some way? Is it out of anger? Is it the thrill? Whatever your motivation, ask yourself if it could be satisfied by dating the right single women. If not, then you may need counseling to see if there are deeper issues.

Whether or not you decide to start dating married women is, ultimately, up to you. You need to consider several different things. It is better to be informed before deciding, and the above points should help you to make a better decision.

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