Take A Trip Back in the Past for Simple Dating Ideas

Depending on how old or young you are, you may or may not remember older dating activities. Some of these were so much less complicated than all of the hoops everyone seems to have to jump through these days to organize a date.

If you’re in the dating arena currently, you already know how much a night out for two can cost. It’s so hard to find simple and inexpensive activities that will provide a few hours of fun for a couple. A typical date now can be so expensive that the cost of it has to be divided between the couple.

However, if you’re a bit creative and want to enjoy the “simple life”, you can have a look at these traditional dates of the past and get a few ideas:

• Dinner and a Movie: Yes, that was exactly what couples did on a high percentage of dates. If these couples were teenagers, they usually hit a fast food restaurant for dinner and then on to the movies, or they may have seen the movie first and then the fast food place. You can still do this now, but it will be done a bit differently as to be affordable. Movies can be rented or bought and watched at home. Dinner can be something simple like hamburgers or hotdogs and French fries that you eat while watching the movie. An entire date can be enjoyed for $15 to $20.
• Taking a walk: If you have a park nearby, or even if you don’t, you can take a walk and just talk. For daytime dates, you can even pack a small picnic to enjoy while you’re at the park. There are usually some great areas to stop and unpack your picnic. This can be so much fun as well as relaxing. It also gives you time to just have fun being together in the great outdoors.
• Bicycling: This isn’t going to cost very much at all if you both own bicycles. If you have to rent them, it may cost a little more but, usually, you’ll have use of the bikes for an entire day. Choose a good location for safe bicycling and don’t forget to take along plenty of water and some light food.
• Music Concert: As bands started to go on tour, there were concerts all over the place. Granted, the tickets are a bit more expensive now, but you can still manage a special evening out by spending it listening to your favorite band together.
• Parking: If you’re in a long term relationship, you may enjoy spending a little “quality time” in the car. As long as you find a safe place where you won’t be disturbed or arrested for trespassing, this can add a bit of heat to your relationship. It’s also FREE!

Some of these ideas may spark a thought or two so that you can enjoy some dates that will not cost an arm and a leg. These are some great places to start but you can always use them as stepping stones to build even better ideas.

Are You Being Played by a Player?

The word “player” doesn’t mean anything positive when it comes to dating and relationships. A lot of guys LIKE the term and are quite flattered to be called that. It’s too bad that they are not mature enough to understand that it’s really NOT a compliment.

A player is, in essence, someone that manipulates, or “plays,” someone else to get what they want from the experience. Guys that wear this label typically hit on lovely women with the intent of getting them into bed at some point during their interaction, be it a night or a month. They win these women over through the sheer force of their personalities or by knowing exactly the right things to say and do.

Among the many negative qualities of a player is the way he reels in his women. He makes the woman of his current interest feel that she is the most beautiful and desirable woman on the face of the planet. Then he continues to build her up and make her the focus of his unwavering attention for however long he wants her around.

Once he’s received everything he wants from the experience, things start to change. This can happen drastically and all at once, or it can start to be noticed a little over time. Either way, the woman is on her way out when this change starts.

Women should do all they can to protect themselves from this type of predator, and make no mistake about it; a predator is exactly what a player is. He may not be physically harming anyone, but he’s certainly making short work of a woman’s self-esteem, not to mention the heartache he injects into her life. A player sucks all the good things that a woman feels about herself right out of her and leaves her feeling like a shell of her former self.

How do you protect yourself from this particular animal? First of all, use your intuition from the very beginning. You know that little feeling that tells you this guy is just TOO GOOD to be true? That’s what you’re going to pay attention to. If he seems to know all the right things to say to you and he is smothering you with all sorts of attention, back up a bit. See if you can find anyone in the vicinity that knows him. If he’s a player, other people will know him because you will have inadvertently stumbled into his territory. Pay close attention to what you find out.

There are some things to watch for, too. If this guy is gorgeous and confident, but other women are avoiding him, there’s a reason for that. You’re probably just a new pastry for him to try out. Supposing that you do get hooked up with him innocently enough, you’ll start to get an idea that he’s a player when his interest starts to cool. If it happens to you, don’t feel bad. Nearly, every woman alive has gone through at least one player in her life. It’s a case of live and learn.

Interracial Dating Tips – Don’t Hide Your Love

Many interracial couples feel that they need to keep their love and their relationship hidden due to the many prejudices that still seem to hang around these days. This is something that can be so hard to do. It can also go a long way in ruining what can possibly be something so beautiful if only you didn’t feel you needed to hide it.

There will always be people that aren’t going to approve of the way you live your life. So what? It is YOUR life and not theirs, and is really none of their business what you do. As long as you’re not hurting yourself or others, you should be left in peace to enjoy the love that you’ve found. However, sadly, many times that’s not the way things work and you’ll have to learn how to blow off the ignorance of some people.

Too often, these people are members of your own family. These are the ones that should be encouraging you to be happy in your life and in your relationship. It’s very hard for you to realize that your own flesh and blood are willing to stand in your way and risk losing you just to have what THEY feel is best and most appropriate. It’s a sad situation when this happens.

In spite of all of that, when you truly love someone, and are happiest when you are with that person, you must have the courage to come out in the open, and show off how happy you are. You need to let others in on the secret love that you’re sharing with a very special person, whether this person is of a different race than you or not. Love is meant to enjoyed and reveled in.

Don’t let people discourage you from feeling the happiness that you know is different from anything you’ve ever experienced in your life. If it’s your friends that are being critical, find some new friends. You may need to even give your family members the chance to be a part of your life or not. Just remember that people with your best interests at heart are the ones that will be as happy for you as you are for yourself.

Obviously, if you’re involved with a potential serial killer or chronic bank robber, someone SHOULD talk you out of it. However, when your love is simply someone that has a different heritage than you, there’s no reason for anyone to be unaccepting of it. Self-centered people that only care about what they want aren’t those you should listen to. They just want you to do what they see as right. Deep down, they don’t really care about you and your happiness.

Therefore, bring your love out into the open and proclaim your feelings from the highest rooftops. When you find someone to love and who returns your love, even if that person is of another race than you, it’s something to celebrate. Don’t hide your love because you fear what others will say and think. In the end, it really doesn’t matter.

Dating Issues While Living With Your Parents

In this day and age of economic distress, it’s not surprising at all for adults to move back home with their parents. They can pay a certain amount of money to help with the rent or mortgage, utility bills and food. For the most part, this can be a pretty good arrangement, even if not an ideal one. Everyone can live comfortably and not be overly stressed about how the bills are going to be paid or if they’re going to be on the street in search of a refrigerator box and a quiet corner in an alley somewhere.

There are some dating issues that can come up from time to time, though, when you live with your parents. This usually comes into play when you meet someone that you want to take things to the next level with and don’t exactly have the privacy to do so. Not all families are like the television show with Frasier and his very understanding father. The privacy issues become even worse if you have a bedroom within the house.

If you must live with parents again, it’s better if you can have a separate entrance to your living space. Sometimes homes are large enough to include basement apartments or even guest houses on the property. In those cases, the issue of privacy really becomes a non-issue unless your parents tend to be the type to mind your business. Obviously, you don’t want them bursting in on you in bed with someone you’ve spent the night with.

Some parents are smart enough to realize that if you’re 25 years old, you’re an adult with the right to do your own thing. They treat you as an adult and respect your privacy. If these are your parents, you probably don’t have any dating issues. However, if your parents are those that feel they need to control your life no matter how old you are, there will be some serious problems, and you may want to find someone else to bunk with until you can get back on your feet again.

In the event that it’s not possible to resolve boundaries in your parents’ home, that leaves you with the option of going to your date’s home or even a hotel room. That doesn’t have to be as sleazy as it may sound, either. They can be totally romantic occasions, complete with room service and breakfast in bed. However, if you have over protective parents, you’re probably going to want to alert them that you won’t be home that night, or they’ll have the police out looking for you.

Before you ever move in with your parents, sit down and have a talk with them about what you expect regarding boundaries and privacy. Hopefully, you can all reach an agreement to treat each other with respect. During this talk, you’ll be able to tell if this is something that will work or not. If you get the “under my roof” speech, do your best to make other arrangements, or be prepared to give up dating until you’re financially independent again.

Tips For Dating When You Are Depressed

Dating can be a challenge on it’s own, but if you suffer from depression, it can seem overwhelming.  It’s crucial to project a positive, happy and confident image to your prospective new date and it can seem like an impossible task when you’re down in the dumps.

CNN.com has recently published a great article that features tips on how you can deal with depression while dating and I thought it would be good to share with any readers who might benefit from it.  Here it is:

10 Tips For Dating With Depression

If you have any other tips, ideas or suggestions of your own, please feel free to leave a comment.

Signs That You Should Keep Him

It can be really hard to find the right guy, the one that you want to spend a lot of time with, and possibly even the rest of your life. Things can start out really well and even continue to go well for a long time. But it’s hard to decide if he’ll change into another person once you decide to commit to yourself.

There are some signs you can look for to help you decide if he’s someone you want to keep around. Have a look at these and take note of them:

• He calls you at least once a day just to say “I miss you” or “I love you.” This is one of the sweetest things that a guy can do for his girl. It shows you that you’re on his mind even when he’s away from you and he wants you to know that.
• He serves you coffee in bed in the morning, or even a full breakfast. If he’s willing to “wait on you” in this manner, you can tell he really cares about you. It shows you that he doesn’t expect things to be divided up into “his and her chores.”
• He remembers special occasions like the anniversary of your first date, first kiss, your birthday and other occasions. Best of all, he remembers these days with no prompting from you.
• You receive “I love you” gifts from him. For no reason other than that he wants to do it, he’ll send you flowers or buy you a special gift.
• He knows when you need some time to yourself without being told and without whining about it. Instead, he’ll make arrangements to do something on his own with friends so that you can be alone.
• He plans, shops for, and cooks meals for the two of you. When he’s completed cooking the meal, he serves it to you.
• Housework doesn’t faze him. He’ll help you with cleaning and will even do the laundry.
• He treats you as his equal. You’re a partner, not someone that doesn’t matter and who should be subservient to him.
• The two of you can easily compromise on how you’ll spend your nights or days out. He doesn’t demand you watch sports events or attend them constantly if you don’t like them. However, if you’re going to get him to the ballet with you, be prepared to attend a sports event with him.
• He never pushes you, but instead, he’ll stand back and respect decisions you make.

Obviously, if you can find a guy with all of these qualities, you may want to lock him in a cage or something to make sure he doesn’t get away. However, if you can find someone with just a few of them, you’re still way ahead of the game. The problem that most people have is when they find a guy like this, there isn’t any chemistry. Thus, lending credence to the myth that nice guys finish last. Keeping in mind that chemistry IS important, if you meet a guy with these qualities, you may want to give the chemistry a chance, too!

Why Doesn’t He Call After A Great Date?

Nearly every woman has gone through this scenario: You go out with a new guy and have an absolutely amazing time. It seems that you have everything in common and the chemistry is off the charts. After spending the evening together at dinner and a movie, or a club, he takes you home and you invite him in. Whether you sleep with him or not, there’s at least a lot of making out. By the time he goes home, you’re certain you’ve just found your Mr. Right. The next day you wait and wait for your phone to ring. It rings, but it’s never him. In fact, you never see or hear from him again. What happened?

Well, the truth of the matter is that, in spite of the fun you had, the two of you obviously weren’t on the same page. That doesn’t mean that he didn’t have fun with you and that he didn’t like you. It simply means that he didn’t view it from the same standpoint that you did. For whatever reason, he wasn’t that into you after all.

This can happen for many reasons. He may have already had someone else in his life that he was MORE interested in and you were just a distraction. Maybe he had the attention span of a 3 year old that loses interest in a new toy after a few hours of playing with it.  Whatever it was, just understand that if he hasn’t called you in 3 weeks, he’s not going to. Chances are he DID NOT end up in a coma from a car wreck or something. He just isn’t interested in you that way.

This means that you need to forget about him and move on.   Don’t text him saying you haven’t heard from him in a while. He either won’t text you back or, worse, he won’t even remember who you are. Just because you had a good make out session doesn’t mean much more to him than good, adult fun. It means that the two of you viewed that evening in totally different ways. Everyone has different agendas and you shouldn’t be shocked to find out that this guy’s was different from yours.

If you find that you overreact to every cute guy you kiss not calling you back, you may want to stop kissing so many of them. Save it for the one that really DOES seem to be on the same page as you. Typically, first dates don’t end up with a trip to the alter, and you really may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. As long as you understand that, you’ll find it a lot easier to deal with all of the guys that simply don’t call you back.

The one thing that IS important for you to remember is that when you do have a great night with a guy and you feel a mutual chemistry, if he calls you back the next day, he really may be Mr. Right.

College Dating: 5 Frugal Dating Ideas

College is an exciting time, but it can also be financially restrictive.  So, what do you do if someone you see on campus catches your eye and you would like to spend some time with them, but money is limited?  Here are some ideas that won’t set you back a bundle and will be fun for you and your date:

1.  Is this a new community for the two of you?  If so, contact your local Chamber of Commerce and see if they have guided tours or walking-tour maps of the community.  Especially if you’re going to be there for 2-4 years, it would be nice to see what kinds of local interests there are.  If one of you is already familiar with the area?  They could be the “guide” sharing their familiarity with the community.

2. A much more intimate evening out, and usually one that is a lot less expensive, is to go to dinner at a smaller restaurant which is owned and operated by a local family.  Avoid the big chain restaurants with their copy-cat menus.  Find something small and unique to the area in which you are now living.  Not only will the food be more delicious, and home-cooked, you could become friends with the proprietors and enjoy their friendship for the length of your college years.

3. When the weather is nice, you could pack a picnic lunch and go for a hike or spend the day at the beach, depending on the area you are in.  Even a bike ride to a flower-filled meadow next to a running brook can be romantic and won’t cost a cent except for the lunch.

4. A lot of the bigger bookstores have book and poetry readings and they are usually free.  Some even have mini-shows by local singers and artists and sell their CDs at a discount, plus you can get them autographed!  Go out for coffee afterwards and, if you just attended a poetry reading, take turns trying to write the next award winning poem on your napkins!  Who knows. . . you could end up having your own poetry reading.

5.  Weekends during the summer you can visit your local farmer’s markets.  This is a good place to pick up some great fresh fruit and other foods.  Take a small ice chest with you to pack your purchases in and head off for a day at the zoo!

College is an exciting time and the memories you retain from your college days will stay with you for the rest of your life.  If you give some thought to how you spend your time with that someone special, not only will you save money, but you will have unique memories to look back on.  Much better than night after night of pizza and beer at the student center!

5 Easy Ways to Know if They Are Interested in You

Someone has caught your eye and you would like to get to know them better, but you’re not sure if they even know you exist, let alone if they would like to spend more time with you.  How can you get a feeling for their interest?  Here are 5 suggestions:

1.  Go somewhere with a group of mutual friends and pay attention to how the person you are interested in responds to what you do and say.  Do they stick by your side most of the evening?  Do they listen intently to everything you say?  Is there frequent eye contact between the two of you?  All of these could indicate a higher level of interest than just being “one of the gang.”

2.  If you are planning to go with a group of your friends to something such as a Museum or Zoo outing, ask the person you are interested in if they would like to come with the group, but not necessarily just as your date.  If they are eager to come and your interactions while out with this group are positive, it could indicate that there is a possibility that a more personal date with you might be welcome.

3.  If things seem to be going well in a group environment, and you feel positive about this person’s feelings for you, ask him or her if they would be interested in going out to get something to eat after the group excursion is over.  Or maybe just a cup of coffee – something non-threatening.  If they accept, that’s great!  If not, maybe their reason at the moment is justified.  Maybe they would be happy to have dinner with you another time.  You should be able to tell by their attitude.  In any event, it’s a less threatening way to ask someone out after being together in a group environment than just a “cold call” kind of approach.

4.  Are the two of you college classmates, or peers at the same company?  Ask him or her for help with something you are doing.  Be sincere and make sure the person you are asking has the knowledge or experience to help you with your request.  You will be able to tell by their reaction if they are interested in helping you because they are interested in YOU, or just because they’re a nice person and want to be helpful.

5.  A non-threatening way to give someone a gift is to support a local fundraiser, either through your College or workplace.  This is especially nice around the romantic holidays, such as Valentine’s Day.  You will show them that you thought of them and that you support the fundraising program, two points in your favor.

One thing to keep in mind is that anyone you might be attracted to, if they are worth your time, should be flattered if you let them know that you are “interested” in them.  So, don’t be shy about expressing your interest.  If they are the type of person you think they are, they will let you know in a kind way whether they reciprocate your feelings or not.

5 Tips to Get Rid of Dating Phobia

The idea of dating can be scary, whether you are just starting out to date or are returning to the dating scene after a many years absence.

Maybe the following things cross your mind:

1.  I wouldn’t know where to start
2.  I’m too old, no one would want to go out with me
3.  I really don’t have time to deal with all the stresses and “games” of dating
4.  I’ve never been lucky dating.  I get all “tongue-tied” and don’t know what to say
5.  I’m a loner.  I’d rather stay home and read a good book
6.  Once burned, twice shy!  I don’t want to take the chance of getting dumped again

And the list goes on.  We are really good at rationalizing our reasons for not doing something we find a challenge.

Here are five tips to help you get past some of your phobias for not dating:

1. Take some time to give SERIOUS thought to any experiences you may have had in the past that make you afraid to take the risk of dating now.  Chances are you’ll realize that the situation then is not even remotely like the situation you are living in now.  You may have been extremely young and/or the person you approached might have been tactless and naive.  You might have been more emotionally vulnerable then so the impression the “rejection” left on you might have been stronger than it warranted.  Just let go of the feelings associated with any negative dating experience, and move on.
2. Start slow.  Go to “no risk” environments where you can interact with people in a non-threatening way. For example, attend a seminar on a topic of interest to you or that is relevant to your business.
3. Go to the types of places that you are comfortable in and where you would meet people that have the same interests and values as you do.  Don’t hang out at bars or nightclubs if that is not the type of person you want to date.
4. Go to night school and take a class in something that you are really passionate about. Not only will you meet men and women who have the same interests as you, you will have something to “talk” about.
5. If you are shy or still have a problem approaching someone who you are interested in or find attractive, consider getting counseling.  A good counselor can help you get to the root of your phobia so you can move on with your life.

Like any new and worthwhile experience in life, dating can be full of uncertainties.  There is no “magic formula” for always having a positive and successful encounter, but you shouldn’t let that stop you.  Keep trying.  Remember, “nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

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