Signs that You’re Dating a Cheater

There’s usually at least one point in your life where you accidentally run into a man that seems just perfect for you. He’s gorgeous, sexy, attentive, sends you flowers, says all the right things, and the list just keeps going on and on. It’s not long before you start to fall head over heels for him. Then, the more time you spend with him and the more you date him, you start to notice little things that just don’t quite add up.

Sure, you may have ignored them in the beginning because he was just so everything that you ever wanted, but now, there is some definite weirdness present. Have a look at the following list of signs that may point to the fact that Mr. Perfect is, instead, Mr. Dog:

• He won’t accept your friend request on Facebook. Granted, he’s entitled to his privacy, but if he REALLY wants to be private, why does he have a Facebook page anyway? However, the real question is what’s so private that you can’t see it but other people can?
• The only places he takes you are new ones. The two of you never go anywhere that he has been before, and it seems that he takes great pains to make sure that doesn’t happen. Could it be that he doesn’t want someone he knows to see him with you?
• None of his close friends are women. You may have met some guy friends of his, but there doesn’t seem to be any women in his life that he wants you to meet. This is actually a pretty big red flag. It means there are no women to vouch for the fact that he’s a good guy.
• He never answers his phone when you call. Now, there may be plenty of text messages or he’ll call you, but when you call him, you never get an answer. This begs the question of who is with or what is he doing that he cannot answer the phone when you call.
• He’s a clock watcher when you’re together. Not only that, but his idea of times to go out or see each other is really odd. He really might have a job with weird hours, but if he only wants to take you out when other people are in bed, or he cancels at the last minute a lot, you should question it.
• You’ve never been to his place. Every time you go out, you always end up at your place or a high end hotel. Even when you ask to see where he lives, he always has an excuse.  Now, if he DOES take you to his place and there are some feminine things laying around or there are womanly knickknacks and decorations, either he’s really in touch with his feminine side or he’s got a woman in his life already.
• He never asks you to do girlfriend things. If he’s going to hear his friend’s band play without you, why doesn’t he want you to meet?

These are some definite red flags that you just may be dating a cheater. Don’t ignore them.

If You Cheat On Your Partner, Should You Confess?

Cheating seems to be much too commonplace these days and a lot of people have a very cavalier attitude about it. Many people assume that it’s just something that will happen and feel that monogamy is an unnatural state for humans to put themselves into.

Other people prefer a monogamous relationship, but will simply “accept” that their partners cheat on them. They don’t LIKE it, but figure there’s not a lot they can do about it. This is typically the attitude of women more than men as it is long been felt that “boys will be boys.” While that attitude may have worked back in the day, it should be accepted that it is now the 21st century and things are not the same as they were once upon a time.

Women have a right to expect fidelity from their partners, just as men do. That dividing line is no longer there in most circles, and that’s the way it should be. In other words, what’s good for the goose is also good for the gander these days.

The definition of cheating seems to be something that is worked out between the partners in each relationship. For some, there IS no “wiggle room.” There will be no cheating, period. Other couples agree on certain rules and guidelines when it comes to what is acceptable and what isn’t.

The question comes up when a partner has actually broken the rules set within his or her relationship. This question is: Should this person confess the cheating to his or her partner? There is no one correct answer to this question as there are so many aspects to consider for each individual situation.

Consider that you’ve succumbed to temptation and cheated. However, you realized instantly that it was a mistake and you have resolved never to repeat it. Before rushing off to confess your indiscretion to your partner, think about a few things first:

1. Is there any way that your partner could find out about what you’ve done?

2. Is this something that you’ve done before and always promised yourself that you’d never repeat it or is this truly the first time?

3. Will confessing to your partner make YOU feel better but cause pain and misery for your partner?

Now, if this is something that you’ve never done before and you’re immediately ashamed, think hard about why it happened. What’s different in your relationship now? What was it about this particular person that made you go through with cheating? Those are important questions for you, and only you, to answer in the beginning. Figure out why you cheated so that it won’t happen again.

If your partner will be devastated by this news, and you’re really serious about never doing it again, it may be best to keep your secret and suffer in silence. Confession may be good for your soul, but harmful to your relationship.

The biggest reason to confess is if there’s a real danger of your partner finding out. In that case, this is news that should come from you and no one else.

Signs of a Cheating Boyfriend

You have a gnawing suspicion that things aren’t quite right in your relationship. You may even suspect that your man is cheating on you. Short of catching him in the act, what are the signs to look for? If you want to know how to tell if your boyfriend is cheating, pay attention to the following clues:

• Look For Signs of Change – Anything, any change good or bad. A more attentive boyfriend can be as much of a sign of a cheater as a suddenly inattentive one. Men who cheat often feel guilty and that guilt can lead to outward signs of love and affection towards their girlfriends. They foolishly believe that giving them more affection and attention when they are around less makes up for the fact that they’re giving someone else love and affection as well.
• Sudden Changes in Schedule – If your boyfriend is cheating, one of the ways to tell may be if their schedule suddenly changes. The man who used to be right home for dinner at 6pm suddenly has late night office work. Going into work at 9am suddenly becomes a 7am office arrival. An especially good clue is the need to suddenly run back to the office after a phone call – especially if it’s a wrong number call.
• Change in the Adjustment of the Passenger Seat in His Car – It’s possible that he’s been escorting his new love interest around in his car on the sly, so this is one thing to look for. Assuming that you’re normally the passenger in his car, the position of the seat shouldn’t change unless someone else has been sitting in it.
• A Sudden Interest in How He Looks – This is a classic sign. The boyfriend who didn’t care about his little potbelly is suddenly at the gym working out. Grecian formula turns up in the medicine cabinet.
• Is He Suddenly Picking Arguments With You That Have No Basis? – Some men will pick a fight with their wife or girlfriend so they can have a reason to storm out of the house and to their new lover. Not all who cheat behave the same way, of course, but you should wonder if he is seeing someone else if you begin to see this pattern.
• He Suddenly Needs More “Space” – If your husband or boyfriend goes from wanting to spend the quiet nights at home and the fun weekends with you, to having to work late and take a business trip on Saturday, these are clues that he may well be cheating. A man who starts telling you that he needs his space, or has to have more time to himself may in fact be giving that extra time to a new love interest.

How to tell if your boyfriend is cheating isn’t the same as a decade or two ago. It used to be that perfume odors on clothes or in the car, or a lot of wrong numbers or hang-ups on the home phone were the primary indicators. Now women and men are equally apt to wear cologne, and many women don’t wear any at all. And, cheaters have taken to using their cell phone, instant messaging, text messaging or e-mail as contacts.

Chat rooms and dating sites are instant means to cheating that leave no home phone clues as well. Of course, there’s also the issue of whether online sex is cheating. That would be much more difficult to tell until and unless you found the clues on the computer.

By themselves, the clues listed above are not necessarily proof that your man is cheating, but suddenly seeing one or more of these signs should raise a red flag if you are already suspicious of his activities. These are often big clues on how to tell if your boyfriend may be cheating.

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