Came across a wonderful dating tips article on MSN today. With Father’s Day just around the corner they featured a short article with some dating advice given to young men and women over the years by their fathers.
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Most of the time, men are the ones that do the asking for dates. Men have to approach the women, say the right words and hope she accepts the invitation. This is nerve-wracking at best for most guys – especially shy men.

But if you’re sitting at home waiting for her to ask you out, you’re making a big mistake. Chances are, she won’t. If you’re shy and you haven’t been sending signals, she’s not even going to know that you’re interested.

And some women won’t ask a man out just because there’s still that unspoken rule for some that the guy should do the asking. If you fear asking a girl out because you may get rejected, you’re not alone.

It happens, but not asking anyone out is pretty much going to guarantee that you’ll be spending your Saturday nights by yourself or with your Poker buddies for many years to come.

Shyness stems from a fear of rejection. You’re afraid to approach, talk and ask, because she might not show an interest in you. The beauty is that there are literally billions of women on the planet, and many of them are single, within your age range, like the same things you like, and are looking for someone like you.

The best things you can do for yourself if you’re shy about asking women out is to do it until you get over your shyness and hesitation. You have a list of reasons not to do this as long as your arm, but really the best thing you can do for yourself is to just get practice until it becomes second nature.

Ask women out who you think you want to date – choose your targets and just do it. Here’s how:

1. Appear positive, relaxed, and approachable. Greeting her with a nice smile and starting off with a simple “Hi” or “Hello” are simple ways to break the ice.
2. Can’t think of anything to say? Ask her some open ended questions that will allow her to do much of the talking. For example: “What do you think of this class?” can get the ball rolling if you are in school or college. It demonstrates that you are interested in her thoughts and opinions.
3. Realize that you will get shot down sometimes. Everybody does. But you have to start somewhere.
4. Practice. You can do this in front of a mirror, with a recorder or with a trusted friend. Practice asking a woman out that you’ve met before and you at least know a little bit. For example: “I’ve got two tickets for the Red Sox game this Saturday, would you like to join me?” Or, “Have you been to the new Thai restaurant on Third Street? I’m planning on trying it out, but I can’t find anyone else willing to try it – would you like to join me?” She will either say yes, no, or “Oh, I can’t, I’ve made plans for Saturday.”
5. If she says she already has plans, that doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t want to go out with you. You won’t know for sure whether she’s making it up or not. Don’t stand there and say, “Well, how about Tuesday, or next Saturday?” because you’ll look desperate. Smile and say, “Okay, well maybe next time.” Be friendly and try again in a few weeks.

You have to be willing to take some risks if you want to date. You are going to get turned down on occasion – just chalk that up to experience and move on. It’s not something you should ever take personally, because not every woman is going to like you and you’re not going to like every woman.

Overcoming shyness around women mainly boils down to practice, practice, and more practice. Another good way to practice is to join an online dating service and send out winks and/or smiles (usually free) to a few women who seem interesting to you. If you get a response, keep a dialog going through email for a bit and get to know her. Then it will be easier to ask her out once you’ve had a chance to discover her interests. After all, she’s most likely a member of the dating service for one major reason – to meet single men like you!

Going on a blind date? Here are a few tips for making the most of your blind dating experience:

• The best time for a blind date is lunch, or if it must be in the evening meet for drinks or coffee rather than dinner. If the meeting is scheduled to be short and casual, you’ll find far less pressure put on your blind date. You also won’t have to be concerned about the propriety of who is to pay for the dinner.
• Choose someplace quiet and someplace where you won’t run into several friends who stop and say hello. This is the time to pay attention to your date, not everyone else.
• Etiquette is an important part of your best blind date and an important tip. Avoid sarcasm, talking badly about other people, telling rude or crude jokes, using racial or ethnic slurs, and making suggestive comments. Especially if you are the male, the latter will make a very nervous blind date – and one probably not destined to see you again.
• Avoid controversial topics. A blind date isn’t the place to discuss how much you hate organized religion or how liberal your politics are. The exception is if this blind date is made after you are brought together online or otherwise and have determined that you have these attitudes in common.
• Courtesy, above all, is the rule for a blind date, no matter how disappointed you might be at the person sitting across the table from you.
• Ignore your cell phone calls. Better yet, you should turn your cell phone off, unless you are prohibited. The latter might be a physician on call, a police officer and so forth. If that is the case, the first thing you’ll want to do is explain that you might have to respond to some emergency call, but you’ll ignore all others.
• Your blind date shouldn’t be the one night search for your true love. Talk about pressure! Our tip is to avoid that kind of stress by telling yourself that this meeting is the chance to go out and have a good time and maybe meet somebody nice. Perhaps you won’t find your perfect mate, but you just might meet a new friend.
• Listen to your blind date – that’s an important tip. Listening at the first meeting is much more important than talking. Don’t avoid disclosing enough about yourself to seem open and honest, but don’t monopolize the conversation.
• Come armed with questions to keep the conversation flowing. These questions should be open-ended, to get your blind date talking. Asking, “What brought you to Boston?” could elicit a lot more conversation than, “How many years have you been in Boston?”
• While you might be dating someone that your friends know, don’t ask too many questions before you actually meet. Make your own decisions, rather than letting someone else’ biases negatively coloring your opinion before the blind date even happens.

Women lust after guys for many different reasons, and there’s no way that any guy can make every woman lust after him. However, there are some things that you can do in order to make yourself attractive to as many women as possible. Many of these suggestions are simple to implement and yet once you perfect them, you’ll have many women lusting over you!

The first selection of suggestions is with regard to your appearance. Although most physical attributes are subjective, and different body shapes appeal to different women, there are some things that are universal. For example, women like their men to look clean and fresh. Turn up on a date with a five o’clock shadow, covered in ink and wearing a crumpled shirt and jeans, and you’re not likely to get a good response from your date. Turn up recently shaved, with the same clothes but with them freshly laundered and your date is going to have a better first impression of you.

Other physical things are a white dazzling smile and a decent haircut (although hair length and style again is a subjective area!). If you can get your eyes to twinkle – or even get that George Clooney eye-crinkle thing going on, you’re off to a great start!

Next comes the personality traits that most women love (or hate). A sense of humor is often at the top, or near the top of a list of “must have” attributes that women look for in a guy. This isn’t necessarily a “Simpson’s” or “South Park” sense of humor, but rather showing yourself to be a person that can laugh and who doesn’t take himself or life too seriously. Although she probably won’t appreciate you making a public spectacle of yourself (and her!) with outrageous behavior, if you can make a woman laugh, you hold her in the palm of your hand.

Other personality traits are listening to what she has to say, not monopolizing the conversation, not being too macho in your approach to who picks up the check, not appearing to be needy or high maintenance, and having an air of self-confidence that doesn’t border on arrogance. If you can manage to hold a conversation that doesn’t revolve around sports, then you’re going to score even higher on her lust scale!

Although the stereotypical woman lusts after a 6-pack abdomen and shoulders the size of Texas, this isn’t what the average woman is looking for. Although women do go for this kind of thing in certain situations, as with guys, this is usually a social thing rather than a personal choice in a partners.

To be a guy that women lust over, you don’t necessarily have to attend charm school and spend 3 hours in the gym everyday – just be attentive, quietly confident, relaxed, and sincere, but above all, be yourself. Nothing is more attractive than a man who is comfortable in his own skin!

Guys: are you about to go out for a night on the town and plan on (or hope to) bring someone home with you? If so, there’s a handy checklist you should skim before you go out. It will help to impress the ladies and should become a regular part of your dating routine:

• Make Your Bed – Be sure to change the sheets and, if necessary, the blankets and bedspread.
• Clean Your Bathroom – The toilet and the shower, tub and sink should be spotless. Be sure there are plenty of clean towels and don’t forget to make sure there is plenty of toilet paper (remember – women use more than you do!)
• Stock Your Kitchen With Breakfast Food (the kind you can cook) – Bacon, eggs, toast, coffee and juice are the best choices. Muffins are great, and even yogurt is good. Cold cereal is not the coolest thing to offer a woman who has just spent the night in your home for the first time!
• Be Prepared With a Light Snack and Something to Drink (both alcoholic and non-alcoholic) – for that evening as well.
• Prepare Your Answering Machine – Be sure to do one of two things: turn the volume off on the machine and turn the ringer off on the phone, or unplug the phone. If you use an answering machine instead of voice mail anyone in its vicinity can hear the message left when you don’t answer the phone. The last thing you want is for some other woman to be calling and saying something romantic or lascivious, or even worse, some other woman calling you some kind of dog for ditching her while your current date is within earshot!
• Keep Plenty of Condoms Ready by Your Bed (but out of sight) – You want to be prepared but at the same time not looking too eager
• Remove All Traces of Any Left Over Items From Other Women – Make
  sure there are no used second toothbrushes, no earrings or even earring backs, no panties or perfume, and no women’s magazines.
• Clean Your House Top to Bottom – It doesn’t have to be spic and span but dirty clothes should be in the hamper and dirty dishes in the sink – not on the coffee table with the fork stuck to them.
• Wear Clean Underwear And Socks That Are Free of Holes (as your own mother would tell you)
• Dim Your Lights Before You Leave For The Evening – If your lights don’t have a dimmer switch and they’re not three way then pick up some 40-60 watt bulbs and replace your current bright lights. You might have some candles ready for the bedroom, but again don’t bring those out right away.

I’m sure you can think of some other things that belong on this list, but these are the most important things to have on your “dating success checklist” before you head out on a date looking for love and romance.