Archive for the ‘ First Dates ’ Category

 
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

With so many singles meeting on the internet or in bars, going out with someone can take a dangerous turn before you realize what’s occurring.  Being alone with an unknown stranger Is not the best idea for your personal safety.
(more…)

 
Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

First dates are exciting and awkward at the same time. You’re hoping to be swept off your feet and taken to some exotic place, preferably flown there by private jet just for dinner.

He’s merely trying to find a restaurant that you’ll like since he has no idea about your food preferences. For all he knows, you’re a vegetarian and you won’t enjoy his favorite steak house.
(more…)

 
Monday, May 19th, 2008

You look out the window as his sleek, luxury car pulls into your driveway. During that casual encounter at a mutual friend’s party, you didn’t really memorize every detail about him.

As you watch him walk up the path to your door, you notice that he is tall, well dressed and looks promising. In fact, he looks so good that you ditch the old dress and pull out something a bit more chic.
(more…)

 
Thursday, April 24th, 2008

Most of the time, men are the ones that do the asking for dates. Men have to approach the women, say the right words and hope she accepts the invitation. This is nerve-wracking at best for most guys – especially shy men.

But if you’re sitting at home waiting for her to ask you out, you’re making a big mistake. Chances are, she won’t. If you’re shy and you haven’t been sending signals, she’s not even going to know that you’re interested.

And some women won’t ask a man out just because there’s still that unspoken rule for some that the guy should do the asking. If you fear asking a girl out because you may get rejected, you’re not alone.

It happens, but not asking anyone out is pretty much going to guarantee that you’ll be spending your Saturday nights by yourself or with your Poker buddies for many years to come.

Shyness stems from a fear of rejection. You’re afraid to approach, talk and ask, because she might not show an interest in you. The beauty is that there are literally billions of women on the planet, and many of them are single, within your age range, like the same things you like, and are looking for someone like you.

The best things you can do for yourself if you’re shy about asking women out is to do it until you get over your shyness and hesitation. You have a list of reasons not to do this as long as your arm, but really the best thing you can do for yourself is to just get practice until it becomes second nature.

Ask women out who you think you want to date – choose your targets and just do it. Here’s how:

  1. Appear positive, relaxed, and approachable. Greeting her with a nice smile and starting off with a simple “Hi” or “Hello” are simple ways to break the ice.
  2. Can’t think of anything to say? Ask her some open ended questions that will allow her to do much of the talking. For example: “What do you think of this class?” can get the ball rolling if you are in school or college. It demonstrates that you are interested in her thoughts and opinions.
  3. Realize that you will get shot down sometimes. Everybody does. But you have to start somewhere.
  4. Practice. You can do this in front of a mirror, with a recorder or with a trusted friend. Practice asking a woman out that you’ve met before and you at least know a little bit. For example: “I’ve got two tickets for the Red Sox game this Saturday, would you like to join me?” Or, “Have you been to the new Thai restaurant on Third Street? I’m planning on trying it out, but I can’t find anyone else willing to try it – would you like to join me?” She will either say yes, no, or “Oh, I can’t, I’ve made plans for Saturday.”
  5. If she says she already has plans, that doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t want to go out with you. You won’t know for sure whether she’s making it up or not. Don’t stand there and say, “Well, how about Tuesday, or next Saturday?” because you’ll look desperate. Smile and say, “Okay, well maybe next time.” Be friendly and try again in a few weeks.

You have to be willing to take some risks if you want to date. You are going to get turned down on occasion – just chalk that up to experience and move on. It’s not something you should ever take personally, because not every woman is going to like you and you’re not going to like every woman.

Overcoming shyness around women mainly boils down to practice, practice, and more practice. Another good way to practice is to join an online dating service and send out winks and/or smiles (usually free) to a few women who seem interesting to you. If you get a response, keep a dialog going through email for a bit and get to know her. Then it will be easier to ask her out once you’ve had a chance to discover her interests. After all, she’s most likely a member of the dating service for one major reason – to meet single men like you!

 
Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

Going on a blind date? Here are a few tips for making the most of your blind dating experience:

  • The best time for a blind date is lunch, or if it must be in the evening meet for drinks or coffee rather than dinner. If the meeting is scheduled to be short and casual, you’ll find far less pressure put on your blind date. You also won’t have to be concerned about the propriety of who is to pay for the dinner.
  • Choose someplace quiet and someplace where you won’t run into several friends who stop and say hello. This is the time to pay attention to your date, not everyone else.
  • Etiquette is an important part of your best blind date and an important tip. Avoid sarcasm, talking badly about other people, telling rude or crude jokes, using racial or ethnic slurs, and making suggestive comments. Especially if you are the male, the latter will make a very nervous blind date – and one probably not destined to see you again.
  • Avoid controversial topics. A blind date isn’t the place to discuss how much you hate organized religion or how liberal your politics are. The exception is if this blind date is made after you are brought together online or otherwise and have determined that you have these attitudes in common.
  • Courtesy, above all, is the rule for a blind date, no matter how disappointed you might be at the person sitting across the table from you.
  • Ignore your cell phone calls. Better yet, you should turn your cell phone off, unless you are prohibited. The latter might be a physician on call, a police officer and so forth. If that is the case, the first thing you’ll want to do is explain that you might have to respond to some emergency call, but you’ll ignore all others.
  • Your blind date shouldn’t be the one night search for your true love. Talk about pressure! Our tip is to avoid that kind of stress by telling yourself that this meeting is the chance to go out and have a good time and maybe meet somebody nice. Perhaps you won’t find your perfect mate, but you just might meet a new friend.
  • Listen to your blind date – that’s an important tip. Listening at the first meeting is much more important than talking. Don’t avoid disclosing enough about yourself to seem open and honest, but don’t monopolize the conversation.
  • Come armed with questions to keep the conversation flowing. These questions should be open-ended, to get your blind date talking. Asking, “What brought you to Boston?” could elicit a lot more conversation than, “How many years have you been in Boston?”
  • While you might be dating someone that your friends know, don’t ask too many questions before you actually meet. Make your own decisions, rather than letting someone else’ biases negatively coloring your opinion before the blind date even happens.
 
Friday, February 15th, 2008

Here’s a quick and simple list of first date tips:

First Date Do’s:

Be Yourself - Be on your best behavior, certainly, but don’t be anyone but you. While you don’t want to say you’re single when you’re legally separated, you don’t need to say that you bite your nails when you’re nervous, and you get nervous at the dentist. Leaving that little fear of dentists thing out doesn’t make you a liar. It just makes you someone who is honest but putting her or his best foot forward. Tell a few things about yourself – true things – that show your good, sweet, tender and honest side. Leave your phobias for later.

Listen To Your Date – Don’t hog the conversation! That will make you look rude and self-absorbed. The primary reason you don’t hog the conversation, however, is because this first (and possibly only) date is the first chance to get to know this lovely creature sitting next to you or across the table from you. If you monopolize the conversation what will you have learned? And chances are you’ll ruin any chance of learning more later.

Try to Relax and Enjoy Yourself – Fun should be a first date rule! Forget about finding your life partner, forget about trying to look and act like the great charmer. Just enjoy this time. The worst that could happen is you don’t hit it off and you won’t have lost much except a few hours at most.

First Date Don’ts:

Do Not Pretend to be Someone or Something That You’re Not – This is a big one. Two things happen if you do. First, you are discovered to be a liar, then or later, and you lose the relationship. Second, you aren’t discovered to be a liar and you’re in a relationship where you aren’t allowed to be yourself. Ultimately you will lose this relationship as well. Imagine pretending to be a non-smoker and fighting the urge to puff away on your first date. What if the date goes well? What if you continue the relationship? You’ll be forced to go cold turkey with those nasty cigs or to out yourself and be branded a liar – which may end up losing the relationship anyway.

Don’t Make Snap Judgments About Someone You Meet on a First Date – (Unless they’re so unattractive you feel nauseated or so boorish and crazy that you fear for your life or sanity being near them). Relax, give her or him a few dates to let their guard down and show their true self. If you still don’t see what you want to see after that, then end it and move on.

Don’t Leave Him or Her Hanging, Wondering if She or He Will Ever See You Again at the End of the First Date – Say, “I had a great time. Let’s do this again.” If you don’t want to see him or her, say, “It was a pleasure meeting you. I had a nice time, but I don’t feel that we have the right chemistry/match/connection. I’m sure you’ll find the right one soon enough – good luck on your search.” Make yourself clear. Why waste time?